Bildungsromans; Christian fiction; London (England) -- Fiction
“Certainly!” she replied. “Everybody laughs at everybody when he gets a
chance! What is society but a club for mutual criticism! The business of
its members is to pass judgment on each other! Why not take the
accident, which seems so to annoy you, with the philosophy of a
gentleman--like one of us! None of us think anything of what is said of
us; we do not heed what we say of each other! Every one knows that all
his friends pull him to pieces the moment he is out of sight--as
heartily as they had just been assisting him to pull others to pieces.
Every gathering is a temporary committee, composed of those who are
present, and sitting upon those whose who are not present. Nobody dreams
of courtesy extending beyond presence! when that is over, obligation is
over. Any such imaginary restriction would render society impossible. It
is only the most inexperienced person that could suppose things going on
in his absence the same as in his presence! It is I who ought to be
pitied, not you! I am the loser, not you!”
Walter bowed and was silent. He did not yet see her drift. If his regard
had been worth anything, she certainly had lost a good deal, but, as it
was, he did not understand how the loss could be of importance to her.
With sudden change of tone and expression, she broke out--
“Be generous, Walter! Forgive me. I will make any atonement you please,
and never again speak of you as if you were not my own brother!”
“It is not of the least consequence how you speak of me now, Lady Lufa:
I have had the good though painful fortune to learn your real feelings,
and prefer the truth to the most agreeable deception. Your worst opinion
of me I could have borne and loved you still; but there is nothing of
you, no appearance of anything even, left to love! I know now that a
woman may be sweet as Hybla honey, and false as an apple of Sodom!”
“Well, you _are_ ungenerous! I hope there are not many in the world to
whom one might confess a fault and not be forgiven. This is indeed
humiliating!”
“I beg your pardon; I heard no confession!”
“I asked you to forgive me.”
“For what?”
“For talking of you as I did.’
“Which you justified as the custom of society!”
“I confess, then, that in your case I ought not to have done so.”
“Then I forgive you; and we part in peace.”
“Is that what you call forgiveness?”
“Is it not all that is required? Knowing now your true feeling toward
me, I know that in this house I am a mistake. Nothing like a true
relation exists, nothing more than the merest acquaintance can exist
between us!”
“It is terrible to have such an enemy!”
“I do not understand you!”
“The match is not fair! Here stands poor me undefended, chained to the
rock! There you lurk, behind the hedge, invisible, and taking every
advantage! Do you think it fair?”
“I begin to understand! The objection did not seem to strike you while I
was the person shot at! But still I fail to see your object. Please
explain.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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