Hopes and Fears: or, scenes from the life of a spinsterYonge, Charlotte M. (Charlotte Mary)
General
Hopes and Fears: or, scenes from the life of a spinster
Yonge, Charlotte M. (Charlotte Mary)
England -- Social conditions -- 19th century -- Fiction; Single women -- Fiction
'Oh! if he could be only brought up as I wish. And I do think his
innocence is too perfect a thing not to be guarded. What a perfect
clergyman he would make! Just fancy him devoting himself to some parish
like poor dear old St. Wulstan's--carrying his bright sweetness into the
midst of all that black Babel, and spreading light round him! he always
says he will be a clergyman like his papa, and I am sure he must be
marked out for it. He likes to look at the sheep on the moors, and talk
about the shepherd leading them, and I am sure the meaning goes very deep
with him.'
She was not going quite the way to show Humfrey that her heart was not
set on the boy, and she was checked by hearing him sigh. Perhaps it was
for the disappointment he foresaw, so she said, 'Whether I bring him up
or not, don't you believe there will be a special care over such a
child?'
'There is a special care over every Christian child, I suppose,' he said;
'and I hope it may all turn out so as to make you happy. Here is your
door; good night, and good-bye.'
'Why, are not you coming in?'
'I think not; I have my things to put up; I must go early to-morrow.
Thank you for a very happy week. Good-bye, Honor.' There was a shade of
disappointment about his tone that she could not quite account for. Dear
old Humfrey! Could he be ageing? Could he be unwell? Did he feel
himself lonely? Could she have mortified him, or displeased him? Honor
was not a woman of personal vanity, or a solution would sooner have
occurred to her. She knew, upon reflection, that it must have been for
her sake that Humfrey had continued single, but it was so inconvenient to
think of him in the light of an admirer, when she so much needed him as a
brother, that it had hardly ever occurred to her to do so; but at last it
did strike her whether, having patiently waited so long, this might not
have been a visit of experiment, and whether he might not be disappointed
to find her wrapped up in new interests--slightly jealous, in fact, of
little Owen. How good he had been! Where was the heart that could fail
of being touched by so long a course of forbearance and consideration?
Besides Honor had been a solitary woman long enough to know what it was
to stand alone. And then how well he would stand in a father's place
towards the orphans. He would never decree her parting with them, and
Captain Charteris himself must trust him. Yet what a shame it would be
to give such a devoted heart nothing better than one worn out, with the
power of love such as he deserved, exhausted for ever. And yet--and
yet--something very odd bounded up within her, and told her between shame
and exultation, that faithful old Humfrey would not be discontented even
with what she had to give. Another time--a little, a very little
encouragement, and the pine wood scene would come back again, and
then--her heart fainted a little--there should be no concealment--but if
she could only have been six months married all at once!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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