How to be Happy Though Married: Being a Handbook to MarriageHardy, E. J. (Edward John)
General
How to be Happy Though Married: Being a Handbook to Marriage
Hardy, E. J. (Edward John)
Marriage
A new home is being formed in reference to which the bride and groom
should think, "This is none other but the house of God, and this is the
gate of heaven. As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." The
parish church is called "God's House;" but if all the parishioners
rightly used their matrimony, every house in the parish might be called
the same. Home is the place of the highest joys; religion should
sanctify it. Home is the sphere of the deepest sorrows; the highest
consolation of religion should assuage its griefs. Home is the place of
the greatest intimacy of heart with heart; religion should sweeten it
with the joy of confidence. Home discovers all faults; religion should
bless it with the abundance of charity. Home is the place for
impressions, for instruction and culture; there should religion open her
treasures of wisdom and pronounce her heavenly benediction.
An old minister previous to the meeting of the General Assembly of the
Church of Scotland used to pray that the assembly might be so guided as
"_no to do ony harm_." We have often thought that such a prayer as this
would be an appropriate commencement for the marriage service.
Considering the issues that are involved in marriage--the misery unto
the third and fourth generation that may result from it--those who join
together man and woman in matrimony ought to pray that in doing so they
may do no harm. Certainly the opening exhortation of the Church of
England marriage service is sufficiently serious. It begins by
proclaiming the sacredness of marriage as a Divine institution;
hallowed as a type of the mystical union between Christ and His Church;
honoured (even in its festive aspect) by Our Lord's presence and first
miracle at Cana of Galilee; declared to be "honourable among all men;
and therefore not by any to be enterprised, nor taken in hand,
unadvisedly, lightly, or wantonly; but reverently, discreetly,
advisedly, soberly, and in the fear of God; duly considering the causes
for which Matrimony was ordained." These are explained in words
plain-spoken almost to coarseness before allusion is made to the higher
moral relation of "mutual society, help, and comfort" which marriage
creates.
Then follows "the betrothal" in which the man "plights his troth"
(pledges his truth), taking the initiative, while the woman gives hers
in return:
"The 'wilt thou,' answered, and again
The 'wilt thou' asked, till out of twain
Her sweet 'I will' has made ye one."
The "joining of hands" is from time immemorial the pledge of
covenant--we "shake hands over a bargain"--and is here an essential part
of the marriage ceremony.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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