But though in this case the pupil's feeling in after-life was one of gratitude, it may be asked what were his filial sentiments whilst this paternal education was going forward. This question also is clearly and frankly answered by Stuart Mill himself. He says that his father was severe; that his authority was deficient in the demonstration of tenderness, though probably not in the reality of it; that "he resembled most Englishmen in being ashamed of the signs of feeling, and by the absence of demonstration starving the feelings themselves." Then the son goes on to say that it was "impossible not to feel true pity for a father who did, and strove to do, so much for his children, who would have so valued their affection, yet who must have been constantly feeling that fear of him was drying it up at its source." And we probably have the exact truth about Stuart Mill's own sentiments when he says that the younger children loved his father tenderly, "and if I cannot say so much of myself I was always loyally devoted to him." This contains the central difficulty about paternal education. If the choice were left to boys they would learn nothing, and you cannot make them work vigorously "by the sole force of persuasion and soft words." Therefore a severe discipline has to be established, and this severity is incompatible with tenderness; so that in order to preserve the affection of his children the father intrusts discipline to a delegate. But if the objection to parental education is clear in Mill's case, so are its advantages, and especially the one inestimable advantage that the father was able to impress himself on his son's mind and to live afterwards in his son's intellectual life. James Mill did not _abdicate_, as fathers generally do. He did not confine paternal duties to the simple one of signing checks. And if it is not in our power to imitate him entirely, if we have not his profound and accurate knowledge, if we have not his marvellous patience, if it is not desirable that we should take upon ourselves alone that immense responsibility which he accepted, may we not imitate him to such a degree as to secure _some_ intellectual and moral influence over our own offspring and not leave them entirely to the teaching of the schoolfellow (that most influential and most dangerous of all teachers), the pedagogue, and the priest? The only practical way in which this can be done is for the father to act within fixed limits. May he not reserve to himself some speciality? He can do this if he is himself master of some language or science that enters into the training of his son; but here again certain difficulties present themselves.