[4.] A Conceited Scholar that was lately come from _Oxford_, drinking with two or three Gentlemen, at the _Mitre Tavern_ in the _Poultrey_, was very brisk and airy, and would needs be forming of Sylogismes &c. One wise one was this, He bid them fill two Glasses of Wine, which they did: now: says he, I will prove those two Glasses to be three, thus, Is not here one, says he? Yes, says the Gentleman. And here another, that's two, says he; Yes, says the Gentleman again. Why, then, says he, one and two is three, so 'tis done. _Very well_, says the Gentleman, _I'll have one Glass, and that Gentleman shall have the other, and you shall have the third for your pains in finding it out_. _Of inclosing a Common._ A Lord, that purpos'd for his more availe, [6.] To compass in a Common with a rayle, Was reckoning with his friend about the Cost, And charge of every rayle, and every post: But he, (that wisht his greedy humour crost) Said, Sir, provide you Posts, and without fayling, Your neighbours round about will find you rayling. Some said, Sir, you keep [12.] Such a gaping in your sleep, He told 'em then they did lye all; For a looking glass he'd buy, At his bed's-feet to lye, On purpose to make a tryal. [4.] A Scholar of _Oxford_ having wore out the Heels of his Boots, brought them in his hands to a Cobler, and shewing him them, said, _O thou curious Artificer, that hast by no small pains and study, arrived to the perfection of that exquisite art of repairing the defects of old decayed Calcuments, affix me two Semicircles to my Suppeditors_. The Cobler stared upon him, as if he would have looked him through; but a little recovering himself, said, _Before George, Sir, I understand not your hard Language: but if I put on two Heel pieces, I'll have a Groat for them_. The same Scholar being asked by a Porter for a Gentleman's Chamber in the Colledg, he directed him thus, _you must crucifie the Quadrangle, and ascend the Grades, and you will find him perambulating in his Cubicle, near the Fenester_. Pray Sir, says the Porter, what is that _Fenester_? _It is_, replies the Scholar, _the Diaphonous part of an Edifice, erected for the Introduction of Illumination_, which so amazed the Porter, that at first he did not know what to think, till recovering himself, he went and enquired of another, who gave him plainer directions, in more intelligible terms. _A Caution for Scolds_ or A True Way of Taming a Shrew. To the tune of _Why are my eyes still flowing_. This may be printed R.P. A Noble Man he Marry'd with a cruel Scold, [30.] Who in her humours would ne'r be controul'd, So that he was almost a weary of his Life, By the cross humours of his froward Wife: Although he shewed himself exceeding kind, Yet she was still of a turbulent mind; Husband and Servants her Fury must feel, For in their Ears she would ring them a Peal.