And Sarah felt it! As her hand touched his, at their meeting upon the
steps, a chill ran through her frame that told the consummation of the
sacrifice which was to atone for past folly; to silence, and brand as
a lying rumor, the fearful tale that bruited abroad the revelation of
that weakness. In her mad horror at the knowledge of its discovery, she
had rushed upon this alternative. Better an estate of honorable misery,
than to live on, solitary, disgraced, condemned and pitied by her
meanest foe! Now that the irreversible step was taken, she experienced
no sharp regret, no wild impulse of retreat, but a gradual sinking of
spirit into hopeless apathy.
Her veil concealed her dull eyes and stolid features, and to Lewis'
happy mood there was nothing surprising or discouraging in her
disposition to silence. With a tact for which she had not given him
credit, and did not now value aright, he refrained from any direct
reference to their altered relation until they were returning homeward.
Then changing his tone of pleasant chat for one of deeper meaning, he
said:
"I have dared to hope much--everything--from your consent to become
my companion for this afternoon. Before I ventured to address you
directly, I had a long and frank conversation with your father."
"What did he say?" asked Sarah, turning towards him for the first time.
"He referred me to you for my answer, which, he said, must be final and
positive, since he would never attempt to influence your choice. In the
event of an affirmative reply from you, he promised that his sanction
should not be withheld."
Sarah was silent. She comprehended fully her father's warm interest in
his friend's suit, which the speaker was too diffident to imply, and
how this expression of his wishes set the seal upon her fate.
"We are poor and proud! Mr. Hammond is rich and seeks to marry me!"
was her bitter thought. "It is a fine bargain in the eyes of both my
parents. It would be high treason for me to dispute their will. Mr.
Hammond has conceived the notion that I am a useful domestic character,
a good housekeeper and nurse, and he is willing to bid liberally
for my services. It is all arranged between them! Mine is a passive
part, to copy Lucy's sweet, submissive ways for a season, for fear of
frightening away the game, afterwards to attend to my business, while
he looks after his. I have chosen my lot, and I will abide by it!"
"Have I your permission to call this evening and inform your father of
my success--may I say of our engagement?" asked Lewis.
"It is best, I suppose, to call things by their right names," replied
Sarah, in a cold voice, that was to him only coy. He smiled, and was
about to speak, when she resumed: "Since we are virtually engaged"--she
caught her breath as she brought out the word--"I see no reason why we
should hesitate to announce it to those whose right it is to know it."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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