Idle Ideas in 1905Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
General
Idle Ideas in 1905
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
English essays; English wit and humor
“Never thought to see him again,” observed my friend, “he was one of the
garrison of that place in Africa—what’s the name of it?—that the Mahdi
attacked. Only three of them escaped. Always was a lucky beggar, Jim.”
“But wouldn’t you like to talk to him some more?” I suggested; “I can see
you any time about this little business of ours.”
“Oh, that’s all right,” he answered, “we have just fixed it up—shall be
seeing him again to-morrow.”
I thought of this scene one evening while dining with some Russian
friends in a St. Petersburg Hotel. One of the party had not seen his
second cousin, a mining engineer, for nearly eighteen months. They sat
opposite to one another, and a dozen times at least during the course of
the dinner one of them would jump up from his chair, and run round to
embrace the other. They would throw their arms about one another,
kissing one another on both cheeks, and then sit down again, with moist
eyes. Their behaviour among their fellow countrymen excited no
astonishment whatever.
But the Russians’s anger is as quick and vehement as his love. On
another occasion I was supping with friends in one of the chief
restaurants on the Nevsky. Two gentlemen at an adjoining table, who up
till the previous moment had been engaged in amicable conversation,
suddenly sprang to their feet, and “went for” one another. One man
secured the water-bottle, which he promptly broke over the other’s head.
His opponent chose for his weapon a heavy mahogany chair, and leaping
back for the purpose of securing a good swing, lurched against my
hostess.
“Do please be careful,” said the lady.
“A thousand pardons, madame,” returned the stranger, from whom blood and
water were streaming in equal copiousness; and taking the utmost care to
avoid interfering with our comfort, he succeeded adroitly in flooring his
antagonist by a well-directed blow.
A policeman appeared upon the scene. He did not attempt to interfere,
but running out into the street communicated the glad tidings to another
policeman.
“This is going to cost them a pretty penny,” observed my host, who was
calmly continuing his supper; “why couldn’t they wait?”
It did cost them a pretty penny. Some half a dozen policemen were round
about before as many minutes had elapsed, and each one claimed his bribe.
Then they wished both combatants good-night, and trooped out evidently in
great good humour and the two gentlemen, with wet napkins round their
heads, sat down again, and laughter and amicable conversation flowed
freely as before.
They strike the stranger as a childlike people, but you are possessed
with a haunting sense of ugly traits beneath. The workers—slaves it
would be almost more correct to call them—allow themselves to be
exploited with the uncomplaining patience of intelligent animals. Yet
every educated Russian you talk to on the subject knows that revolution
is coming.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account