In Convent Walls: The Story of the DespensersHolt, Emily Sarah
History
In Convent Walls: The Story of the Despensers
Holt, Emily Sarah
Great Britain -- History -- Edward II, 1307-1327 -- Fiction; Historical fiction
"I bid thee well to note, Cicely, how much ill can come of the deeds of
one woman. Deeds, said I? Nay, but of the thoughts and feelings; for
all deeds are but the flowers whereto man's thoughts be the seed. And
forget not, daughter, that there must ever be one first thought that is
the beginning of it all. O Cis, take thou heed of the first evil
thought in thine heart, and pray God it lead not to a second. They that
fear not God be prone to ask, What matter for thoughts? Deeds be the
things that signify. My thoughts are mine own; who shall govern me
therein? Ah, verily, who shall, without God doth, and thou dost? He
that makes conscience of his thoughts, men reckon a great saint. I
would say rather, he that maketh not conscience of his thoughts cannot
serve God at all. Pray God rule thee in thine innermost heart; then
shall thy deeds please Him, and thy life shall be a blessing to thy
fellows."
"Dame," said I, "would you signify that the Queen is not ruled of God?"
"He governeth better than so, Cis," saith she.
"Yet is she Christian woman," quoth I.
"A Christian woman," made answer my mother, "is a woman that followeth
Christ. And thou followest not Jack, Cis, when thou goest along one
road, and Jack goeth another. Man may follow near or far; but his face
must be set the same way. Christ's face was ever set to do the will of
God. If thou do thy will, and I do mine, our faces be set contrary."
"Then must we turn us around," said I.
"Ay, and flat round, too," she saith. "When thou standest without
Aldgate, ready to pass within, 'tis but a full little turn shall take
thee up to Shoreditch on the right hand, or down Blanche Chappleton on
the left. Thy feet shall be set scarce an inch different at beginning.
Yet pursue the roads, and the one shall land thee at York, and the other
at Sandwich. Many a man hath reckoned he set forth to follow Christ,
whose feet were scarce an inch out of the way. `Go to,' quoth he; `what
can an inch matter? what difference shall it make?' Ah me, it maketh
all the difference between Heaven and Hell, for the steps lead to
diverse roads. Be well assured of the right road; and when thou so art,
take heed to walk straight therein. Many a man hath turned a score out
of the way, by reason that he walked a-crooked himself."
"Do we know alway when we walk straight?" said I.
"Thou hast thy Psalter and thine Evangelisterium," made she answer: "and
thou hast God above. Make good use of the Guide and the map, and thou
art not like to go far astray. And God pardon the souls that go astray!
Ay, God forgive us all!"
She sat and span a while, and said nought.
"Cicely," then quoth she, "I shall not abide here."
"Whither go you, Dame?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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