American essays; Convents; Eden Hall (Torresdale, Pa.); Pennell, Elizabeth Robins, 1855-1936; Repplier, Agnes, 1855-1950
A sigh of relief, a sigh which we could not help permitting to be
audible, shivered softly around the room. The day was saved; yet, as we
marched to the chapel, there was a turmoil of agitation in our hearts.
We knew that from far-away France--from a mysterious and all-powerful
person who dwelt there, and who was called Mother General--came the
mandates which governed our community. This was not the first sudden
departure we had witnessed; but Reverend Mother seemed so august,
so permanent, so immobile. Her very size protested mutely against
upheaval. Should we never again see that familiar figure sitting in
her stall, peering through her glass into a massive prayer-book, a
leviathan of prayer-books, as imposing in its way as she was, or
blinking sleepily at us as we filed by? Why, if somebody were needed
in France, had it not pleased Mother General to send for Madame Bouron?
Many a dry eye would have seen _her_ go. But then, as Lilly whispered
to me, suppose it had been Madame Rayburn. There was a tightening of
my heart-strings at the thought, a sudden suffocating pang, dimly
foreboding the grief of another year.
The consensus of opinion, as gathered that evening in the dormitory,
was not unlike the old Jacobite epitaph on Frederick, Prince of Wales.
Every one of us was sincerely sorry that Madame Bouron had not been
summoned,--
"Had it been his father,
We had much rather;"
but glad that Madame Dane, or Madame Rayburn, or Madame Duncan, or some
other favourite nun had escaped.
"Since it's only Fred
Who was alive, and is dead,
There is no more to be said."
The loss of our Superioress was bewildering, but not, for us, a thing
of deep concern. We should sleep as sweetly as usual that night.
The next morning we were all gathered into the big First Cours
classroom, where Reverend Mother came to bid us good-by. It was a
solemn leave-taking. The address was no longer in order; but the
spiritual bouquet had been made up the night before, and was presented
in our name by Madame Bouron, who read out the generous sum-total of
prayers, and acts, and offered-up trials, and resisted temptations,
which constituted our feast-day gift. As Reverend Mother listened,
I saw a large tear roll slowly down her cheek, and my heart smote
me--my heart was always smiting me when it was too late--that I had
contributed so meagrely to the donation. I remembered the chocolate
custard, and thought--for one mistaken moment--that I should never
want to taste of that beloved dish again. Perhaps if I had offered it
up, Reverend Mother would cross the sea in safety. Perhaps, because I
ate it, she would have storms, and be drowned. The doubtful justice of
this arrangement was no more apparent to me than its unlikelihood. We
were accustomed to think that the wide universe was planned and run for
our reward and punishment. A rainy Sunday following the misdeeds of
Saturday was to us a logical sequence of events.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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