"Anything you like, Kay. I'm in paradise--or would be if only
somebody would tell me stories till I fall asleep."
"Stories about what?"
"About YOU, Kay."
"I'll not talk about myself."
"Please!"
But he shook his head without smiling: "You know all there is," he
said--"and much that is--unspeakable."
"Kay!"
"What?"
"Never, never speak that way again!"
He remained silent.
"Because," she continued in her low, pretty voice, "it is not true.
I know about you only what I somehow seemed to divine the very
moment I first laid eyes on you. Something within me seemed to say
to me, 'This is a boy who also is a real man!' ... And it was true,
Kay."
"You thought that when you knelt in the snow and looked down at that
beastly drunken--"
"Yes! Don't use such words! You looked like a big schoolboy,
asleep-that is what you resembled. But I knew you to be a real man."
"You are merciful, but I know what you went through," he said
morosely.
She paid no attention: "I liked you instantly. I thought to myself,
'Now when he wakes he'll be what he looks like.' And you are!"
He stirred in his chair, sideways, and glanced at her.
"You know what I think about you, don't you?"
"No." She shouldn't have let their words drift thus far and she knew
it. Also at this point she should have diverted the conversation.
But she remained silent, aware of an indefinite pleasure in the
vague excitement which had quickened her pulse a little.
"Well, I shan't tell you," he said quietly.
"Why not?" And at that her heart added a beat or two.
"Because, even if I were different, you wouldn't wish me to."
"Why?"
"Because you and I are doomed to a rather intimate comradeship--a
companionship far beyond conventions, Yellow-hair. That is what is
ahead of us. And you will have enough to weary you without having
another item to add to it."
"What item?" At that she became very silent and badly scared. What
demon was prompting her to such provocation? Her own effrontery
amazed and frightened her, but her words seemed to speak themselves
independently of her own volition.
"Yellow-hair," he said, "I think you have guessed all I might have
dared say to you were I not on eternal probation."
"Probation?"
"Before a bitterly strict judge."
"Who?"
"Myself, Yellow-hair."
"Oh, Kay! You ARE a boy--nothing more than a boy--"
"Are you in love with me?"
"No," she said, astonished. "I don't think so. What an amazing thing
to say to a girl!"
"I thought I'd scare you," he remarked grimly.
"You didn't. I--I was scarcely prepared--such a nonsensical thing to
say! Why--why I might as well ask you if you are in--in--"
"In love with you? You wish to know, Yellow-hair?"
"No, I don't," she replied hastily. "This is--stupid. I don't
understand how we came to discuss such--such--" But she did know and
she bit her lip and gazed across Isla Water in silent exasperation.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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