He came in twice on each of these, and it was as if he came
in to give her a chance to relent. That was after all, she said to
herself in the intervals, the most that he did. There were ways, she
fully recognised, in which he spared her, and other particular ways as
to which she meant that her silence should be full to him of exquisite
pleading. The most particular of all was his not being outside, at the
corner, when she quitted the place for the night. This he might so
easily have been—so easily if he hadn’t been so nice. She continued to
recognise in his forbearance the fruit of her dumb supplication, and
the only compensation he found for it was the harmless freedom of being
able to appear to say: “Yes, I’m in town only for three or four days,
but, you know, I _would_ stay on.” He struck her as calling attention
each day, each hour, to the rapid ebb of time; he exaggerated to the
point of putting it that there were only two days more, that there was
at last, dreadfully, only one.
There were other things still that he struck her as doing with a
special intention; as to the most marked of which—unless indeed it were
the most obscure—she might well have marvelled that it didn’t seem to
her more horrid. It was either the frenzy of her imagination or the
disorder of his baffled passion that gave her once or twice the vision
of his putting down redundant money—sovereigns not concerned with the
little payments he was perpetually making—so that she might give him
some sign of helping him to slip them over to her. What was most
extraordinary in this impression was the amount of excuse that, with
some incoherence, she found for him. He wanted to pay her because there
was nothing to pay her for. He wanted to offer her things he knew she
wouldn’t take. He wanted to show her how much he respected her by
giving her the supreme chance to show _him_ she was respectable. Over
the dryest transactions, at any rate, their eyes had out these
questions. On the third day he put in a telegram that had evidently
something of the same point as the stray sovereigns—a message that was
in the first place concocted and that on a second thought he took back
from her before she had stamped it. He had given her time to read it
and had only then bethought himself that he had better not send it. If
it was not to Lady Bradeen at Twindle—where she knew her ladyship then
to be—this was because an address to Doctor Buzzard at Brickwood was
just as good, with the added merit of its not giving away quite so much
a person whom he had still, after all, in a manner to consider. It was
of course most complicated, only half lighted; but there was,
discernibly enough, a scheme of communication in which Lady Bradeen at
Twindle and Dr. Buzzard at Brickwood were, within limits, one and the
same person. The words he had shown her and then taken back consisted,
at all events, of the brief but vivid phrase “Absolutely impossible.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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