It was repeated the next day; it went on for three days; and at the end
of that time she knew what to think. When, at the beginning, she had
emerged from her temporary shelter Captain Everard had quitted the
shop; and he had not come again that evening, as it had struck her he
possibly might—might all the more easily that there were numberless
persons who came, morning and afternoon, numberless times, so that he
wouldn’t necessarily have attracted attention. The second day it was
different and yet on the whole worse. His access to her had become
possible—she felt herself even reaping the fruit of her yesterday’s
glare at Mr. Buckton; but transacting his business with him didn’t
simplify—it could, in spite of the rigour of circumstance, feed so her
new conviction. The rigour was tremendous, and his telegrams—not now
mere pretexts for getting at her—were apparently genuine; yet the
conviction had taken but a night to develop. It could be simply enough
expressed; she had had the glimmer of it the day before in her idea
that he needed no more help than she had already given; that it was
help he himself was prepared to render. He had come up to town but for
three or four days; he had been absolutely obliged to be absent after
the other time; yet he would, now that he was face to face with her,
stay on as much longer as she liked. Little by little it was thus
clarified, though from the first flash of his re-appearance she had
read into it the real essence.
That was what the night before, at eight o’clock, her hour to go, had
made her hang back and dawdle. She did last things or pretended to do
them; to be in the cage had suddenly become her safety, and she was
literally afraid of the alternate self who might be waiting outside.
_He_ might be waiting; it was he who was her alternate self, and of him
she was afraid. The most extraordinary change had taken place in her
from the moment of her catching the impression he seemed to have
returned on purpose to give her. Just before she had done so, on that
bewitched afternoon, she had seen herself approach without a scruple
the porter at Park Chambers; then as the effect of the rush of a
consciousness quite altered she had on at last quitting Cocker’s, gone
straight home for the first time since her return from Bournemouth. She
had passed his door every night for weeks, but nothing would have
induced her to pass it now. This change was the tribute of her fear—the
result of a change in himself as to which she needed no more
explanation than his mere face vividly gave her; strange though it was
to find an element of deterrence in the object that she regarded as the
most beautiful in the world. He had taken it from her in the Park that
night that she wanted him not to propose to her to sup; but he had put
away the lesson by this time—he practically proposed supper every time
he looked at her. This was what, for that matter, mainly filled the
three days.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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