'Do,' I said, with polite enthusiasm. 'Do.'
This was the backwash, I thought, of Dolly's German outbreak the other
day, and Siegfried was going at last to be explained to me.
'Won't you sit down in this chair?' I said, pushing a comfortable one
forward, and then sitting down myself on the edge of the sofa.
'Thank you. What I wish to say is--'
She hesitated. I supposed her to be finding it difficult to proceed with
Siegfried, and started off impulsively to her rescue.
'You know, I don't mind a bit about--' I began.
'What I wish to say is,' she went on again, before I had got out the
fatal word, 'what I wish to point out to you--is that the weather has
considerably cooled.'
This was so remote from Siegfried that I looked at her a moment in
silence. Then I guessed what was coming, and tried to put it off.
'Ah,' I said--for I dreaded, the grateful things she would be sure to
say about having been here so long--'you do want a fire in the hall
after all, then.'
'No, no. We are quite warm enough, I assure you. A fire would distress
us. What I wish to say is--' Again she hesitated, then went on more
firmly, 'Well, I wish to say that the weather having broken and the
great heat having come to an end, the reasons which made you extend your
kind, your delightful hospitality to us, have come to an end also. I
need hardly tell you that we never, never shall be able to express to
you--'
'Oh, but you're not going to give me notice?' I interrupted, trying to
be sprightly and to clamber over her rock-like persistence in gratitude
with the gaiety of a bright autumnal creeper. This was because I was
nervous. I grow terribly sprightly when I am nervous.
But indeed I shrink from Mrs. Barnes's gratitude. It abases me to the
dust. It leaves me mourning in much the same way that Simon Lee's
gratitude left Wordsworth mourning. I can't bear it. What a world it is,
I want to cry out,--what a miserable, shameful, battering, crushing
world, when so dreadfully little makes people so dreadfully glad!
Then it suddenly struck me that the expression giving notice might not
be taken by Mrs. Barnes, she being solemn, in the spirit in which it was
offered by me, I being sprightly; and, desperately afraid of having
possibly offended her, I seized on the first thing I could think of as
most likely to soothe her, which was an extension, glowing and almost
indefinite, of my invitation. 'Because, you know,' I said, swept along
by this wish to prevent a wound, 'I won't accept the notice. I'm not
going to let you go. That is, of course,' I added, 'if you and Dolly
don't mind the quiet up here and the monotony. Won't you stay on here
till I go away myself?'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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