Introducing Irony: A Book of Poetic Short Stories and PoemsBodenheim, Maxwell
General
Introducing Irony: A Book of Poetic Short Stories and Poems
Bodenheim, Maxwell
American fiction -- 20th century; American poetry -- 20th century; Short stories, American
The door of the room opened and two men strode in. One of them curved
upward into pompous impatience. The tight inquisitiveness of a gaudy
uniform revealed his tall body. His face was like an expansive
fallacy--large rolls of flesh indecisively interrogated the thin slant
of his nose and slid into the refuge of his brown beard. The second man
was waspishly abbreviated and clad in mincing castrations of color. His
tinily sharp face suggested a soulless beetle.
“Have you come, as usual, to bestow your explosive admiration on
my figures?” said King Ferdinand to the man whose face resembled a
redundant mistake.
“Three men of your guard will murder you, with restrained admiration,
tomorrow noon,” answered the other man, in whose voice a sneer and
apprehension were partners in a minuet. “You will be killed on the
palace steps and the cheers of a huge audience will make death’s leer
articulate to you. While you have taken the role of a hermit in an
aesthetic petticoat your friends have been arranging a last happiness
for you. You are considered an imbecile who paints pretty figures with
the blood of his country.”
The flashing hardnesses of a wintry repose assaulted King Ferdinand’s
face.
“My brothers are quite willing to use this blood as an unsolicited
rouge for the lips of their mistresses,” he answered in a tone of
remotely amused reproach. “I have not assailed my subjects with taxes
or led them to wars and that has been a serious error. They are
probably in the position of a man with his chains removed, who is angry
because he has forgotten how to dance!”
The acridly shortened man spoke.
“When you are dead, sire, your brothers will gamble for your throne by
throwing roses at your head. He who first succeeds in striking your
bulging eyes, will win.”
“Death does not like to be made a cheated jester,” said King Ferdinand.
“He will doubtless devise a better joke for my winning brother.”
Queen Muriel, whose face had grown old with choked disdain, stepped
forward.
“Now that your shrewd bantering has made itself sufficiently nude, tell
us why you have come,” she said.
The tall man, who carried with him the air of an animated mausoleum,
spoke.
“Today I saw an old libertine tottering down the boulevard. Glancing
to his feet he spied a lily, clipped and fresh. He sidled blithely to
the edge of the walk to avoid stepping on the flower. There is little
pleasure, after all, in flattening a child from another world.... My
carriage will take you to the frontier, tonight.”
“My caprices have never been able to strut gorgeously because they hold
a sincere sympathy for motion,” said King Ferdinand, still mechanically
jesting. His hand rose to one cheek as though signaling for a friendly
trance and his eyes closed unceremoniously.
“We will take your carriage,” he said in the voice of an abstracted
tight-rope walker.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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