“Good! Went up to the Castle on Sunday. Saw them there safe--by Gad! so
safe. Lots of fellows, well fed fellows, happy, cheery fellows. They
had a long list of names, all the brotherhood, and they were ticking
off the chaps who were killed. ‘How’s 47?’ I asked. ‘All right,’ said
one chap, after a glance at the list; ‘at least, we’ve had no word
through about him.’ ‘My God!’ I said, ‘I must get along and see for
myself.’”
“Who are your five friends?”
“An armed guard. You couldn’t expect me to go about without an armed
guard. Every Shinner in Dublin is at my heels.”
“My dear fellow, didn’t it strike you that by bringing an armed guard
clattering into the hall you would be likely to turn the Sinn Fein
attention to us?”
Our friend laid a soothing hand on 47’s wife.
“Have you been out much since the affair?” she asked abruptly.
“Every day and every night. No peace. Nothing like that about me. But
it doesn’t matter, for I can’t sleep. My God! and I was told this was
money for nothing! Money for nothing, and the life filled a man full of
joy!”
“You’ve got nerves.”
“Nerves! By Gad, nerves! Hear her.” He pivoted round towards us, showed
he had recognised us, and smiling, said, “How are you?” He came across
and laid a hand on my shoulder. He was the type of man who touches
women. Then he jerked round again to 47’s wife.
“Pitchforked in, I was. Never knew a thing. Didn’t know enough to keep
my mouth shut, or to change my clothes when I went down the slums.
Looked on all men as brothers. Thought they loved me as I loved them.
I haven’t slept for months. Let me talk. Let me get it off my chest.
I’m all for peace, I am. I always have been, and somehow I always
seem to get flung into some beastly mess. Some one said, ‘Come and
chase Shinners, old bean.’ And here I am, but the beastly Shinner’s
always chasing me. Every time I go out some one follows me, sometimes
a man, sometimes a woman. The life’s killing me. Watkins--you know old
Watkins--he and I got digs together at last, and took it in turn to
keep watch while the other slept. I got wind up in case he dropped off.
I didn’t dare go to bed without my guns in case some one came in, and I
always had the feeling that I’d shoot Watkins by mistake some night, or
get the old woman in the stomach when she came in with the hot water in
the morning.”
“Hush, old man,” said 47’s wife.
“Hush! That’s it. Hush! If I don’t talk, I’ll go mad! None of the
fellows at the Central will talk. We’re all in the Central Hotel now.
They hang in corners brooding on their sorrows. They don’t care about
mine. The chaps at the Castle don’t talk. They don’t know what it is to
be out and alone.”
“It’s what you’re here for.”
“Splendid! What I’m here for!” our friend exclaimed. “I’ll be killed
next! Mark my words. No; don’t let’s talk of death. It makes me feel
all hot and bothered.”
“Hush,” said she, again.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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