Time had long ceased to have any significance for Maisie White. There
was daylight and nightlight. She seemed to remember that she had made a
great fight on the day she arrived at this strange house when the
hard-faced nurses had strapped her to the bed, and an old man, with
trembling fingers, had pushed a needle into her arm. She remembered it
hurt, and then she remembered very little else. She viewed life with a
dull apathy and without much understanding. She ceased to resent the
presence of the women who came and went, and even the uncleanly old
doctor no longer filled her with a sense of revulsion. She just wanted
to be left alone to sleep, to dream the strangest dreams that any girl
had ever had. She did not know that this was the action of bromide of
potassium, consistently administered in every drink she took, in every
morsel of food she ate. Bromide in bread, in coffee, in mashed potatoes,
in rice, in all the vehicles by which the drug could be administered.
Sometimes by reason of her sheer vitality she flung off the effects of
the dope, and was keenly conscious of her surroundings. There was one
girl who came and went, a pretty girl with fluffy golden hair, who
looked at her dispassionately and made no reply to the questions with
which Maisie plied her. And once she had seen Pinto and would have
screamed, but they stopped her in time. One night the old doctor had
come into the room very drunk. He was crying and moaning in a maudlin
fashion about some mysterious position which he had lost, and he had sat
on the bed and, cursed his passion for strong drink with such vehemence
that she, in her half-dazed state of mind, had found herself interested
against her will.
In one of her lucid intervals she had realised a vital fact, that she
was under the influence of a drug, and instinctively knew that she was
becoming more and more immune to its action. She formed a vague plan,
which she had almost forgotten the next morning. She must always be
sleepy, almost dazed; she must never show signs of returning
consciousness. She had been a week in the "nursing home" before she made
this plan. She could lie now with her eyes shut, picking up the threads.
She heard somebody talk of a ship and of a passport, and learned that
she was to be removed in another week. She could not find where, but it
was somewhere on a ship. She tried once, when the nurses were out of the
room, to get out of bed and walk to the window. Her legs gave way
beneath her, and it was with the greatest difficulty that she managed to
crawl back to bed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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