“Owen, Owen,” pursued Mrs. Wood, sinking into a chair, and fanning
herself violently,--“what a fluster you have put me into with your
violence, to be sure! And at the very time, too, when you know I'm
expecting a visit from Mr. Kneebone, on his return from Manchester.
I wouldn't have him see me in this state for the world. He'd never
forgive you.”
“Poh, poh, my dear! Mr. Kneebone invariably takes part with me, when
any trifling misunderstanding arises between us. I only wish he was
not a Papist and a Jacobite.”
“Jacobite!” echoed Mrs. Wood. “Marry, come up! Mightn't he just as
reasonably complain of your being a Hanoverian and a Presbyterian?
It's all matter of opinion. And now, my love,” she added, with a
relenting look, “I'm content to make up our quarrel. But you must
promise me not to go near that abandoned hussy at Willesden. One
can't help being jealous, you know, even of an unworthy object.”
Glad to make peace on any terms, Mr. Wood gave the required promise,
though he could not help thinking that if either of them had cause to
be jealous he was the party.
And here, we may be permitted to offer an observation upon the
peculiar and unaccountable influence which ladies of a shrewish
turn so frequently exercise over--we can scarcely, in this case,
say--their lords and masters; an influence which seems not merely to
extend to the will of the husband, but even to his inclinations. We
do not remember to have met with a single individual, reported to be
under petticoat government, who was not content with his lot,--nay,
who so far from repining, did not exult in his servitude; and we see
no way of accounting for this apparently inexplicable conduct--for
which, among other phenomena of married life, various reasons have
been assigned, though none entirely satisfactory to us--except
upon the ground that these domineering dames possess some charm
sufficiently strong to counteract the irritating effect of their
tempers; some secret and attractive quality of which the world at
large is in ignorance, and with which their husbands alone can be
supposed to be acquainted. An influence of this description appeared
to be exerted on the present occasion. The worthy carpenter was
restored to instant good humour by a glance from his helpmate; and,
notwithstanding the infliction he had just endured, he would have
quarrelled with any one who had endeavoured to persuade him that he
was not the happiest of men, and Mrs. Wood the best of wives.
“Women must have their wills while they live, since they can make
none when they die,” observed Wood, as he imprinted a kiss of
reconciliation on the plump hand of his consort;--a sentiment to
the correctness of which the party chiefly interested graciously
vouchsafed her assent.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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