John Henry Smith: A humorous romance of outdoor lifeAdams, Frederick Upham
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John Henry Smith: A humorous romance of outdoor life
Adams, Frederick Upham
Humorous stories; Outdoor life -- Fiction
"Of course I'm not hurt," he asserted. "We were only fooling. Where in
thunder is my shirt?"
And then Chilvers and Carter and Marshall and I exploded. It was not a
dignified thing to do, and I apologised to both of the ladies afterward,
but we fell down on that mutilated croquet-ground and laughed until
exhausted. I am glad Miss Harding and the others were not there.
Assisted by their wives the two gladiators had struggled to their feet,
but the most cursory inspection disclosed that they were more
presentable when on the ground. And then the ladies joined in the laugh.
"Jack," said Mr. Bishop, who has called me by that nickname since I was
seven years old, "Jack, go out to the old barn and get a pair of horse
blankets. You know where I keep them."
"You've got a great head on you, Jim," roared Harding. "I was thinking
of a pair of barrels."
When I returned with the red and yellow blankets the ladies had
disappeared.
"Never mind sending down to the club for your other clothes," Bishop was
saying. "I've got several suits, such as they are, and I reckon one of
them will fit ye."
"This blanket is pretty good," declared the magnate. "Say, Jim, what was
it you said about that fifty-year-old cider?"
"I'm glad I didn't give you any more of it; I'd lost my life as well as
my clothes," declared the farmer. "If they'd stayed away 'nother minute
or so I'd won that second fall, sure as sin, Bob," he said, rather
ruefully, as we wrapped the blanket around him.
"You just think you would," grinned Harding, lifting up the blanket so
as to keep from stumbling over it. "Say, it must be tough to have to
wear skirts all the time. Be a good fellow, Smith, and hold up my
train."
They tried to sneak in at the back entrance, but Miss Harding and the
others saw them and headed them off. I shall never forget their looks of
amazement, and then the screams of laughter which followed the hurried
explanation.
I must postpone an account of the dinner and the dance until the next
entry.
[Illustration: "It must be tough to have to wear skirts all the time"]
ENTRY NO. XI
THE BARN DANCE
We gave Mr. Harding a great reception when he appeared on the veranda,
arrayed in garments furnished by our host. I have an idea Mr. Bishop's
wardrobe was about exhausted when the two of them had completed their
toilet.
"What do you think of me?" demanded Harding, striking a pose.
He obtained a variety of opinions. They were unable to find a "boiled
shirt" with an eighteen inch neck band or collar, so a blue gingham one
was made to do service. The only coat broad enough across the shoulders
was a "Prince Albert," in which Bishop had been married, and Harding
admitted the combination was not exactly _de rigeur_. The trousers
were woefully tight at the waist, and were inches too long.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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