John Smith's Funny Adventures on a Crutch: Or The Remarkable Peregrinations of a One-legged Soldier after the WarHill, A. F. (Ashbel Fairchild)
History
John Smith's Funny Adventures on a Crutch: Or The Remarkable Peregrinations of a One-legged Soldier after the War
Hill, A. F. (Ashbel Fairchild)
Disabled veterans -- United States -- Fiction; United States -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Veterans -- Fiction
It will be remembered that it was at these Falls that Samuel Patch,
Esquire, made his last leap; and here I am compelled to dispel a very
popular delusion that prevails in regard to the matter. I do not wish to
detach a particle from the glory and honor of Mr. Patch, for he was an
American, like myself—not exactly like myself, either, for he is said to
have had two legs—and I feel a kind of national pride in holding him up
before the world as the paragon of jumpers. But what I wish to say, is
this: Patch did not stand in the water below, as is generally supposed,
and jump _up_ over the falls. On the contrary, he stood above on a
platform erected at the brink of the precipice, where there was not much
water pouring over at the time, and jumped _down_; and who couldn’t do
that? I saw persons in Rochester who saw him make his last leap, and
they told me all about it, confidentially.
Another thing: It is generally known that Patch leaped over the Falls of
Genesee twice, but it is not generally known on which of these occasions
he killed himself; some suppose it was the first: but I can assure them,
on the best authority, that it was his second leap at Rochester, and not
his first, that proved fatal.
On one occasion Daniel Webster was called upon to speak at a public
dinner given at Rochester. “Gentlemen,” said he, “Athens had her
Acropolis, and Rome her Coliseum, but, gentlemen, they could boast of no
such falls as those of Rochester!” Here, being slightly under the
influence of the wine which he had been drinking, he paused, and
hesitating, was about to sit down, when some one whispered to him “The
national debt!” Rising to his full height the great orator exclaimed:
“And then, gentlemen, there is the National Debt! It should be paid,
gentlemen. It must be paid, gentlemen.” And then, in louder tones, “I’ll
be d——d if it _shan’t_ be paid. _I’ll pay it myself!_” pulling out his
pocket-book. “HOW MUCH IS IT?”
Two miles below Rochester there is a wharf where steamboats and other
lake craft land, and where a man keeps boats to let. The street-cars run
to within three quarters of a mile of the place, and I got on one and
rode down. On leaving the car at the terminus of the city railway, I
walked to the river bank, and found a graded wagon-road leading down to
the landing, the bank being about two hundred feet high; and very steep.
When I reached the landing I concluded to hire a sail boat and have a
little ride on the river.
“Can you manage one?” asked the owner.
“O, yes,” I replied. “That is, pretty well.” The truth was, I had never
tried it, and therefore didn’t know whether I could manage one or not.
“Well, take that one,” said he, pointing to a small sail boat of about
three quarters of a ton burthen. “There are oars in it, and if you can
not manage it you can row it back.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account