United States -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
"Go back! With Jude believing I double-crossed her and nothing but rows
going all the time? I'll admit I'm unhappy, but at least it's peaceful at
Charleton's. He and his wife don't fight. I tell you that if home's just
a place to fight in, I don't want a home."
"What do you want, Douglas?" asked Peter.
"I don't know," muttered the young rider.
"I know," said Peter softly. "You want a guiding star, you want something
that's not to be found in this valley, an ideal fine enough to save your
soul alive. You come of stock that lived and died by a spiritual idea,
Doug, and you are going to be unhappy till you find one."
Douglas turned this over in his mind soberly for a few minutes. "Have you
got one, Peter?" he finally asked, wistfully.
"No! I might have had if your mother had lived. She was an idealist if
ever there was one. Work yourself out a plan, Doug, that is based on
something fine, then fight to put it over. That's the only way you'll
ever be contented."
"What I want," cried Douglas, "is something to take away this emptiness
inside of me."
"Exactly! And I'm telling you how. And the reason I know is because I
started out in life with the idea that women and the day's work were
enough. Maybe they are for a man like your father, though I doubt it.
But a man like you or me isn't built for promiscuity either in love or in
work. We are the kind that have to choose a fine, straight line and then
hew to it, keep our faith in it, never leave it."
He paused for so long a time that Douglas stirred uneasily, then said,
"How did you learn different, Peter?"
"By doing all the things that impulse and youth suggested, regardless of
any suggestions or advice, and arriving at middle life with my mind and
heart as empty as yours. Don't do it, Doug. It makes tragedy of old age."
Douglas rose slowly. "I don't see what in the world I can do with
myself," he said heavily, and he rode back to Charleton's ranch.
Books had perhaps been Douglas' greatest solace that long winter.
Charleton had a good many, mostly representing his young delvings
into the realms of agnosticism. His later purchases simmered down to
a few volumes of poetry. There were several of Shakespeare's plays
around the cabin and these Douglas read again and again. He did not see
much of Little Marion, who was a great gad-about, and who, when she was
at home, was monopolized by Jimmy Day. Mrs. Falkner he found immensely
companionable. She had a half-caustic wit which he enjoyed, but he liked
best to have her argue with Charleton on what she called his dog-eat-dog
theory of life.
He had reason, not long after his conversation with Peter, to recall the
postmaster's comments on Charleton. Very early one morning Charleton
roused him and told him to ride like forty furies after Grandma Brown.
Douglas obeyed him literally and arrived at the Brown ranch with the
Moose in a sweating lather. When he banged on the door, Grandma,
clutching her nightdress at the throat, put her head out.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account