Kenelm Chillingly — Volume 06Lytton, Edward Bulwer Lytton, Baron
General
Kenelm Chillingly — Volume 06
Lytton, Edward Bulwer Lytton, Baron
English fiction -- 19th century
"Thank you. But you still misconstrue me. I do not think that Lily
cares half so much for Mr. Chillingly as she does for a new butterfly.
I do not fear their coming together, as you call it, in the light in
which she now regards him, and in which, from all I observe, he
regards her. My only fear is that a hint might lead her to regard him
in another way, and that way impossible."
Elsie left the house extremely bewildered, and with a profound
contempt for Mrs. Cameron's knowledge of what may happen to two young
persons "brought together."
CHAPTER XVII.
NOW, on that very day, and about the same hour in which the
conversation just recorded between Elsie and Mrs. Cameron took place,
Kenelm, in his solitary noonday wanderings, entered the burial-ground
in which Lily had some short time before surprised him. And there he
found her, standing beside the flower border which she had placed
round the grave of the child whom she had tended and nursed in vain.
The day was cloudless and sunless; one of those days that so often
instil a sentiment of melancholy into the heart of an English summer.
"You come here too often, Miss Mordaunt," said Kenelm, very softly, as
he approached.
Lily turned her face to him, without any start of surprise, with no
brightening change in its pensive expression,--an expression rare to
the mobile play of her features.
"Not too often. I promised to come as often as I could; and, as I
told you before, I have never broken a promise yet."
Kenelm made no answer. Presently the girl turned from the spot, and
Kenelm followed her silently till she halted before the old tombstone
with its effaced inscription.
"See," she said, with a faint smile, "I have put fresh flowers there.
Since the day we met in this churchyard, I have thought so much of
that tomb, so neglected, so forgotten, and--" she paused a moment, and
went on abruptly, "do you not often find that you are much too--what
is the word? ah! too egotistical, considering and pondering and
dreaming greatly too much about yourself?"
"Yes, you are right there; though, till you so accused me, my
conscience did not detect it."
"And don't you find that you escape from being so haunted by the
thought of yourself, when you think of the dead? they can never have
any share in your existence /here/. When you say, 'I shall do this or
that to-day;' when you dream, 'I may be this or that to-morrow,' you
are thinking and dreaming, all by yourself, for yourself. But you are
out of yourself, beyond yourself, when you think and dream of the
dead, who can have nothing to do with your to-day or your to-morrow."
As we all know, Kenelm Chillingly made it one of the rules of his life
never to be taken by surprise. But when the speech I have written
down came from the lips of that tamer of butterflies, he was so
startled that all it occurred to him to say, after a long pause,
was,--
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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