“Try!” echoed the other, “what comes of all your trying? You have
been reveling for a week in visions of what is to be yours; and that
ought surely to have been enough time for you to make up your mind;
and yet every time that I find you alone, all your resolution is
gone; you simply have no strength, Helen!”
“Oh, I will have it!” cried the girl; “I don't mean to do this way
any more; I never saw it so plainly.”
“You see it now, because I'm talking to you, and you always do see
it then. But I should think the very terror of what you have
suffered would serve as a motive, and make you quite desperate. Can
you not see that your very safety depends upon your taking this
resolution and keeping it, and not letting go of it, no matter what
happens? From what I've seen of you, Helen, I know that if you do
not summon all your energies together, and fling aside every purpose
but this, and act upon it _now_, while you feel it so keenly, you
will surely fail. For anybody can withstand a temptation for a
while, when his mind is made up; all the trouble is in keeping it
made up for a long time. I tell you if I found I was losing, sooner
than surrender I would do anything, absolutely anything!”
Mrs. Roberts had many more words of that heroic kind; she was a
vigorous little body, and she was quite on fire with enthusiasm just
then, and with zeal for the consummation of the great triumph.
Perhaps there is no occupation of men quite without its poetry, and
even a society leader may attain to the sublime in her devotion to
life as she sees it. Besides that the over-zealous woman was exalted
to eloquence just then by a feeling that she was nearer her goal
than ever before, and that she had only to spur Helen on and keep
her in her present glow to clinch the matter; for the girl was very
much excited indeed, and showed both by what she said and by the
change in her behavior that she was determined to have an end to her
own wretchedness and to conquer her shrinking from her future
husband at any cost. During all the time that she was dressing, her
aunt was stirring her resolution with the same appeal, so that Helen
felt that she had never seen her course so clearly before, or had so
much resolution to follow it. She spread out her arms and drank deep
breaths of relief because she was free from her misery, and knew how
to keep so; and at the same time, because she still felt tremblings
of fear, she clenched her hands in grim earnestness. When she was
ready to descend she was flushed and trembling with excitement, and
quite full of her resolution. “She won't have to go very far,” Mrs.
Roberts mused, “for the man is madly in love with her.”
“I want you to look as beautiful as you can, dear,” she said aloud,
by way of changing the subject; “besides Mr. Harrison, there'll be
another visitor at lunch to-day.”
“A stranger?” echoed Helen.
“You remember, dear, when I told you of Mr. Howard I spoke of a
third person who was coming--Lieutenant Maynard?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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