Do you adore these podgy Bourbons? THE EMPEROR. You are not like your cousins the Archdukes. THE DUKE. Indeed? THE EMPEROR. Where did you learn your saucy tricks? THE DUKE. I learnt them playing in the Tuileries. THE EMPEROR. Ah, you come back to that? THE DUKE. I wish I could. THE EMPEROR. Can you recall those days? THE DUKE. Oh, only vaguely. THE EMPEROR. Can you recall your father? THE DUKE. I remember A man who pressed me hard against a star, And as he pressed I felt with tears of fright The diamond star was stamped upon my heart: Sire, it has stayed there! THE EMPEROR. Do I blame you for it? THE DUKE. Yes, let the goodness of your nature speak! When I was small you loved me, did you not? You loved to have me with you at your meals, And so we used to dine together-- THE EMPEROR. Charming. THE DUKE. My hair was long, and I was Prince of Parma; And when they punished me you let me off. THE EMPEROR. Do you remember how you hated ponies? THE DUKE. One day they showed me one as white as snow; I stamped with fury in the riding-school. THE EMPEROR. You thought a pony was a deadly insult. THE DUKE. I cried with rage: I want a great, big horse! THE EMPEROR. And now you want another great, big horse! THE DUKE. And how I used to beat my German nurses. THE EMPEROR. And how with Colin you would calmly dig Enormous holes about my park-- THE DUKE. For Crusoe. THE EMPEROR. He was Man Friday. THE DUKE. And I used to hide. I had a gun, three hatchets and a bow. THE EMPEROR. Then you stood sentinel before my door. THE DUKE. As a hussar. THE EMPEROR. And ladies, coming late, Found this excuse quite natural:--"Oh, Sire, We only stopped to kiss the sentinel!" THE DUKE. You loved me then. THE EMPEROR. I love you now. THE DUKE. Then prove it! THE EMPEROR. My Franz! my grandson! THE DUKE. Is it true the King Would simply disappear if I appeared? THE EMPEROR. Well-- THE DUKE. Is it true? THE EMPEROR. I-- THE DUKE. Don't tell lies! THE EMPEROR. Perhaps! THE DUKE. I love you! THE EMPEROR. Yes; if you appeared alone, Without a drum, upon the bridge at Strassburg, The King would vanish. THE DUKE. I adore you, Grandad! THE EMPEROR. I'm stifled! THE DUKE. No. THE EMPEROR. I should have held my tongue. THE DUKE. Besides, the climate of Vienna's bad: I'm ordered Paris-- THE EMPEROR. Really? THE DUKE.