Ladies and GentlemenCobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
General
Ladies and Gentlemen
Cobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
Fiction; Short stories, American
When he chid her for some slip not in keeping with his venerated ideals
of womanhood on a pedestal he did it so gently that the reproof never
hurt. Frequently it helped. Besides, he never put the fault on her;
always he put it on the accident of her Northern upbringing.
There were lesser things that she learned from him. For instance, that
it was a crime against a noble foodstuff to put sweetening in corn
bread; that it was an even worse offense to the palate when one ate
boiled rice with sugar and milk on it; that a cantaloup never should
be regarded as a dessert but always as an appetizer; that hot biscuit
should be served while hot, not after the cold clamminess of _rigor
mortis_ had set in; that Robert E. Lee was the noblest figure American
life ever had produced or conceivably ever would.
To the Captain this last, though, was not to be numbered among the
lesser verities. It was a very great and outstanding fact and a
fact indisputable by any person inclined to be in the least degree
fair-minded. He had served four years as a soldier under General
Lee--a private at eighteen, a company commander at twenty-one. To have
been a Confederate soldier was a more splendid and a more gallant thing
even than being a member of one of the old families. He told her that
half a dozen times a day. He told her many men of her family had been
Confederate soldiers, too; some of them officers of high rank. She
began, without conscious effort, to think of them as members of her
family who belonged to her and to whom, through the binder of blood
ties, she belonged.
By virtue of a certain adaptability of temperament she did more than
this. That flexible mimetic quality which enabled her to slip easily
into any given rôle lent itself to the putting on of a passable
semblance to a full-flowered creation which might never have existed at
all excepting in Captain Teal's fancy, and one which we know probably
doesn't exist at all nowadays but which all the same was to him very
real, as being the typical well-bred Southern woman of all days and all
times--a sprigged-muslin, long-ringletted, soft-voiced, ultra-maidenly
vision. Physically she differed from this purely abstract picture;
concretely she strove to fit herself into the frame of that canvas. To
herself she had an acceptable excuse for the deception. For one thing,
it was good business. Her venerable admirer should know if anybody did
what real old-fashioned Southern girls were like. And to one who had
modeled after his pet pattern there must, sooner or later, come an
opportunity to play the rôle before the camera.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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