Ladies and GentlemenCobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
General
Ladies and Gentlemen
Cobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
Fiction; Short stories, American
"Well, then, here's the answer," explained Gillespie. "Just a few
minutes ago it came to me. I'm going to give him a bit to play in the
Gettysburg stuff. Did either of you two ever happen to hear of John
Burns?"
"Let me think--the name comes familiar," said Mr. Lobel; "wasn't he a
middle-weight prize-fighter here some few years back? Let's see, who
was it licked that sucker?"
"No, no, no," Gillespie broke in on the revery. "I mean the John Burns
of the poem."
"Sure," assented Mr. Liebermann, who prided himself that although
somewhat handicapped by lack of education in his earlier days he had
broadened his acquaintance with literary subjects after he quit dress
findings and tailors' accessories. "What Gillespie means, Lobel, is the
notorious poet, John Burns."
"Are you, by any chance, referring to Robert Burns, of Scotland?"
demanded Gillespie with a burr of rising indignation in his voice.
Gillespie had been born in the land of cakes and haggis.
"Robert or John or Henry, what's the odds?" countered Mr. Liebermann,
and shrugged. "Are you, anyhow, so sure it was Robert? Seems to me--"
"Am I sure? Oh, Lord!" With an effort Mr. Gillespie regained control of
his feelings. "The poet I am thinking of was the American poet, Bret
Harte. And Harte wrote a poem about old John Burns of Gettysburg. I
don't believe that even you ever read that particular poem, Milt."
His elaborated sarcasm was lost, though, on Mr. Liebermann. "Anyhow,
I'm going to introduce the character of John Burns into the main
battle-shots. And this old-timer of mine is going to play him. We can
use extracts from the poem for the sub-titles. That's what I came
over to tell you, Lobel, not to discuss with our cultured friend here
whether the noblest poet that ever lived--a genius that every school
child in this country should be familiar with--was named Robert Burns
or Oscar Burns or Isadore Burns. By the way, have either of you seen
Herzog this morning? He hasn't been on the set, or if he has I missed
him. I want to send him in to Hollywood to the address where the old
boy's stopping."
* * * * *
Herzog may have been a capable assistant-director--the film world so
acclaimed him--but as an emissary his performances might be open to
criticism as lacking in some of the subtler shadings of diplomacy.
All went smoothly at the meeting in Mrs. H. Spicer's parlor until
after he delivered the purport of his superior's message, Captain Teal
harkening attentively.
"Very well, sir," said the Captain. "I am indebted to you, sir,
for bringing me this summons. Kindly present my compliments to Mr.
Gillespie and inform him that I shall report for duty tomorrow morning
promptly on the hour named."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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