Once more my remarks drew from the boy an unexpected rejoinder. We had
turned into Worship Street, and, as we passed the churchyard, he stopped
and laid his hand upon the railing of the pate.
“You don’t shock me,” he said; and then: “But you would shock my aunts.”
He paused, gazing into the churchyard, before he continued more slowly:
“And so should I--if they knew it--shock them.”
“If they knew what?” I asked.
His hand indicated a sculptured crucifix near by.
“Do you believe everything still?” he answered. “Can you?”
As he looked at me, I suppose that he read negation in my eyes.
“No more can I,” he murmured. Again he looked in among the tombstones
and flowers, where the old custodian saw us and took off his hat.
“Howdy, Daddy Ben!” John Mayrant returned pleasantly, and then resuming
to me: “No more can I believe everything.” Then he gave a brief, comical
laugh. “And I hope my aunts won’t find that out! They would think me
gone to perdition indeed. But I always go to church here” (he pointed to
the quiet building, which, for all its modest size and simplicity, had
a stately and inexpressible charm), “because I like to kneel where
my mother said her prayers, you know.” He flushed a little over this
confidence into which he had fallen, but he continued: “I like the words
of the service, too, and I don’t ask myself over-curiously what I
do believe; but there’s a permanent something within us--a Greater
Self--don’t you think?”
“A permanent something,” I assented, “which has created all the
religions all over the earth from the beginning, and of which
Christianity itself is merely one of the present temples.”
He made an exclamation at my word “present.”
“Do you think anything in this world is final?” I asked him.
“But--” he began, somewhat at a loss.
“Haven’t you found out yet that human nature is the one indestructible
reality that we know?”
“But--” he began again.
“Don’t we have the ‘latest thing’ all the time, and never the
ultimate thing, never, never? The latest thing in women’s hats is that
huge-brimmed affair with the veil as voluminous as a double-bed mosquito
netting. That hat will look improbable next spring. The latest thing
in science is radium. Radium has exploded the conservation of energy
theory--turned it into a last year’s hat. Answer me, if Christianity is
the same as when it wore among its savage ornaments a devil with horns
and a flaming Hell! Forever and forever the human race reaches out its
hand and shapes some system, some creed, some government, and declares:
‘This is at length the final thing, the cure-all,’ and lo and behold,
something flowing and eternal in the race itself presently splits the
creed and the government to pieces! Truth is a very marvelous thing. We
feel it; it can fill our eyes with tears, our hearts with joy, it can
make us die for it; but once our human lips attempt to formulate and
thus imprison it, it becomes a lie. You cannot shut truth up in any
words.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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