Bitter Hole was the station for the stage. In it flourished the nine
dusty citizens, a dusty dog, and a dusty chicken, in addition to
Barney and the buxom Miss Sally, whose father was among the citizens
enumerated. At the end of the street was a hole, or well, the waters
of which, being not precisely fatal to men and horses, had occasioned
the growth of the place, there being no other water for leagues along
the road.
Here in this land, even when Sally had scorned them, each in turn, the
men of the Hole were still agreed there could be no desolation where
Barney Doon had residence. Purely and simply they loved the little
cook for the fiery suddenness of his temper and the ingenuity of the
insults of which he was never guiltless. The sulphurous little demon
was, as the miners and teamsters estimated, "only two sizes bigger
than a full-grown jack-rabbit." What he lacked in size, however, he
more than supplied in expression of countenance. His eyes were centres
of incandescence, while the meagre supply of hair he grew bristled
redly out from beside his ears like ill-ordered spears. Indeed, such a
red-whiskered, bald-headed little parcel of fireworks as Barney was is
rarely created.
Calmly considered, it is hardly a matter for marvel that Barney had,
from time to time, accommodated every individual in the Hole with a
quarrel. Moreover, he had challenged each to mortal combat. Indeed, he
had never been known to do anything less. Barney was a challenger
first and a cook incidentally. But, ancient and modern tradition
through, there never was chronicle of actual encounter in which the
fierce little cook cut figure.
And, as a matter of fact, the men esteemed him perhaps somewhat more
for the skill and adroitness with which he invariably squirmed out of
impending engagements, than they did for all the alacrity and
pyrotechnics with which he was wont to surround himself with duelsome
entanglements. The boys well knew that if blood were unlet till the
bragging, hot little rogue of a Barney stained his record, they would
all forget the color of a wound.
It was not without some elemental enthusiasm that the camp, one
evening, extended its welcome to a mule-driver newly mustered to their
company. The sobriquet by which the man was duly introduced was
Slivers. He was swiftly appraised and as quickly assimilated, after
which there was only one process required to complete his initiation,
namely, that of preparing his mind for a "racket" with Barney Doon.
"Don't lose no time, but git right in at supper," instructed John
Tuttle, for the group. "Jest bang him with any old insult you can
think of, and leave the rest to Barney. Trot out a plain, home-made
slap at the fodder he's dishin' up, fer instance. And when he comes at
you with a challenge, don't fergit your privilege of pickin' out the
weapons--savvy?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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