“‘Your bed?’ screams little Dick; ‘you’re the worse for licker, Job Brown. Can’t you see you’ve come into the wrong house?’ “‘Eh?’ ses Job, staring. ‘Wrong ’ouse? Well, where’s mine, then?’ “‘Next door but one, same as it always was,’ ses Dick. ‘Will you go?’ “‘A’ right,’ ses Job, staring. ‘Well, goo’-night, Dick. Goo’-night, Mrs. Weed. Goo’-night, baby.’ “‘Good-night,’ ses Mrs. Weed from under the bedclothes. “‘Goo’-night, baby,’ ses Job, again. “‘It can’t talk yet,’ ses Dick. ‘Will you _go_?’ “‘Can’t talk—why not?’ ses Job. “Dick didn’t answer ’im. “‘Well, goo’-night, Dick,’ he ses agin. “‘Good-night,’ ses Dick from between ’is teeth. “‘Goo’-night, Mrs. Weed,’ ses Job. “Mrs. Weed forced herself to say ‘good-night’ agin. “‘Goo’-night, baby,’ ses Job. “‘Look ’ere,’ ses Dick, raving, ‘are you goin’ to stay ’ere all night, Job Brown?’ “Job didn’t answer ’im, but began to go downstairs, saying ‘goo’-night’ as ’e went, and he’d got pretty near to the bottom when he suddenly wondered wot ’e was going downstairs for instead of up, and larfing gently at ’is foolishness for making sich a mistake ’e went upstairs agin. His surprise when ’e see Dick Weed and Mrs. Weed and the baby all in ’is bed pretty near took ’is breath away. “‘Wot are you doing in my bed?’ he ses. “‘It’s our bed,’ ses Dick, trembling all over with rage. ‘I’ve told you afore you’ve come into the wrong ’ouse.’ “‘Wrong ’ouse,’ ses Job, staring round the room. ‘I b’leeve you’re right. Goo’-night, Dick; goo’-night, Mrs. Weed; goo’-night, baby.’ “Dick jumped out of bed then and tried to push ’im out of the room, but ’e was a very small man, and Job just stood there and wondered wot he was doing. Mrs. Weed and the baby both started screaming one against the other, and at last Dick pushed the window open and called out for help. “They ’ad the neighbours in then, and the trouble they ’ad to get Job downstairs wouldn’t be believed. Mrs. Pottle went for ’is wife at last, and then Job went ’ome with ’er like a lamb, asking ’er where she’d been all the evening, and saying ’e’d been looking for ’er everywhere. “There was such a to-do about it in the village next morning that Job Brown was fairly scared. All the wimmen was out at their doors talking about it, and saying wot a shame it was and ’ow silly Mrs. Weed was to put up with it. Then old Mrs. Gumm, ’er grandmother, who was eighty-eight years old, stood outside Job’s ’ouse nearly all day, shaking ’er stick at ’im and daring of ’im to come out. Wot with Mrs. Gumm and the little crowd watching ’er all day and giving ’er good advice, which she wouldn’t take, Job was afraid to show ’is nose outside the door. “He wasn’t like hisself that night up at the Cauliflower. ’E sat up in the corner and wouldn’t take any notice of anybody, and it was easy to see as he was thoroughly ashamed of hisself. “‘Cheer up, Job,’ says Bill Chambers, at last; ‘you ain’t the fust man as has made a fool of hisself.’