English drama -- 20th century; English fiction -- 20th century; Short stories, English
This purple one with eyes is the assafoetida flower. Don't put your
nose too near; it has a smell like burning flesh. This is a
Cypripedium from Sumatra. It is the only man-eating flower in the
world. Notice its double set of teeth. (_He puts a stick into the
mouth of the flower, which instantly snaps to, like a steel trap._)
Nasty, vicious brute! These blossoms like purple sponges belong to the
twangum tree; when you squeeze them they ooze blood. This is the
Jonesia, the octopus of the floral world: each of its eight tentacles
is armed with a sting capable of killing a horse. Now this is a most
interesting and instructive flower--the patchouli bloom. It is perhaps
the most striking example in nature of structural specialization
brought about by Evolution. If only Darwin had lived to see the
patchouli plant! You have heard of flowers specially adapting
themselves to be fertilized by bees or butterflies or spiders and
such-like? Well, this plant which grows in the forests of Guatemala
can only be fertilized by English explorers. Observe the structure of
the flower; at the base is a flat, projecting pan, containing the
pistil; above it an overarching tube ending in a spout. On either side
a small crevice about three-quarters of an inch in length may be
discerned in the fleshy lobes of the calix. The English traveller
seeing this plant is immediately struck by its resemblance to those
penny-in-the-slot machines which provide scent for the public in the
railway stations at home. Through sheer force of habit he takes a
penny from his pocket and inserts it in one of the crevices or slots.
Immediate result--a jet of highly scented liquid pollen is discharged
from the spout upon the pistil lying below, and the plant is
fertilized. Could anything be more miraculous? And yet there are those
who deny the existence of God. Poor fools!
TOPSY.
Wonderful! (_Sniffing._) What a good scent.
ASTON.
The purest patchouli.
BELLE.
How delicious! Oh, my dear . . . (_She shuts her eyes in ecstasy._)
HENRIKA.
(_Drowsily._) Delicious, 'licious. . . .
SIR JASPER.
I always like these rather _canaille_ perfumes. Their effect is
admirable.
ASTON.
This is the leopard-flower. Observe its spotted skin and its thorns
like agate claws. This is the singing Alocusia--Alocusia
Cantatrix--discovered by Humboldt during his second voyage to the
Amazons. If you stroke its throat in the right place, it will begin to
sing like a nightingale. Allow me. (_He takes her by the wrist and
guides her fingers towards the palpitating throat of a gigantic flower
shaped like a gramophone trumpet. The Alocusia bursts into song; it
has a voice like Caruso's._)
CAIN.
Oh, nyum nyum! What a hand! Oh, ma honey. (_He runs a thick black
finger along TOPSY'S arm._)
TOPSY.
What a remarkable flower!
BELLE.
I wonder whether he stroked my arm like that by accident or on
purpose.
HENRIKA.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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