He went about putting up the windows and closing the outside shutters, a
confirmed habit. Linda rose with her invariable sense of separation, the
feeling that, bound on a journey with a hidden destination, she was only
temporarily in a place of little importance. It was like being always in
her hat and jacket. Arnaud shook down the grate; then he gazed over
the room; it was all, she was sure, as it had been a century ago, as it
should be--all except herself.
XXV
Yet her marriage had realized in almost every particular what she
had--so much younger--planned. The early suggestion, becoming through
constant reiteration a part of her knowledge, had been followed and
accomplished; and, as well, her later needs were served. Linda told
herself that, in a world where a very great deal was muddled, she had
been unusually fortunate. And this made her angry at her pervading lack
of interest in whatever she had obtained.
Other women, she observed, obviously less fortunate than she, were
volubly and warmly absorbed in any number of engagements and pleasures;
she continually heard them, Arnaud's connections--the whole superior
society, eternally and vigorously discussing servants and bridge, family
and cotillions, indiscretions and charities. These seemed enough for
them; their lives were filled, satisfied, extraordinarily busy. Linda,
for the most part, had but little to do. Her servants, managed with
remote exactness, gave no trouble; she had an excellent woman for the
children; her dress presented no new points of anxiety nor departure ...
she was, in short, Arnaud admitted, perfectly efficient. She disposed of
such details mechanically, almost impatiently, and was contemptuous, no
envious, of the women whose demands they contented.
At the dinners, the balls, to which Arnaud's sense of obligation both
to family and her took them against his inclination, it was the
same--everyone, it appeared to Linda, was flushed with an intentness she
could not share. Men, she found, some of them extremely pleasant, still
made adroit and reassuring efforts for her favor; the air here, she
discovered, was even freer than the bravado of her earlier surroundings.
This love-making didn't disturb her--it was, ultimately, the men who
were fretted--indeed, she had rather hoped that it would bring her the
relief she lacked.
But again the observations and speculation of her mature childhood, what
she had heard revealed in the most skillful feminine dissections, had
cleared her understanding to a point that made the advances of hopeful
men quite entertainingly obvious. Their method was appallingly similar
and monotonous. She liked, rather than not, the younger ones, whose
confidence that their passion was something new on earth at times
refreshed her; but the navigated materialism of greater experience
finally became distasteful. She discussed this sharply with Arnaud:
“You simply can't help believing that most women are complete idiots.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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