He was glad in that light; it gave him a safe home-like feeling, such as
he remembered long ago when his mother held him in her arms. He thought
of all he had gone through, but without either grieving or longing. He
sat still and mused, wishing nothing more than that the sun might
continue to shine.
'What are you about, mooning there?' cried Pluizer. 'You know I do not
approve of dreaming.'
Johannes looked up with absent, imploring eyes. 'Leave me alone for a
little longer,' said he; 'the sun is so good!'
'What can you find in the sun?' said Pluizer. 'It is nothing, after all,
but a big candle--sunlight or candlelight, it is all the same in the
end. Look at the patches of light and shadow in the street--they are
nothing more than the effect of a light which burns steadily and does
not nicker. And that light is really quite a small flame shining on a
quite small speck of the universe. Out there, beyond the blue, above and
beneath, it is dark,--cold and dark! It is night there, now and always.'
But his words had no effect on Johannes. The calm warm sunbeams had
penetrated him, bathed his whole soul--he was full of light and peace.
Pluizer carried him off to Doctor Cypher's cold house. For some time yet
the sunny images floated before his brain; then they slowly faded away,
and by the middle of the day all was dark again within him.
But when evening came he made his way through the town once more, the
air was soft and full of the vapourous odours of the past. Only the
fragrance was ten times stronger, and oppressed him in the narrow
streets. But as he crossed the open square he smelt the grass and leaves
from the country beyond. And overhead he saw the spring in the tranquil
little clouds and the tender rose of the western sky. The twilight shed
a soft grey mist, full of delicate tints, over the town. The streets
were quiet, only a grinding organ in the distance played a love-sick
tune; the houses stood out black against the crimson heavens, their
fantastic pinnacles and chimneys stretching up like numberless arms.
To Johannes it was as though the sun were giving him a kind smile as he
shed his last beams over the great city--kind, like the smile which
seals a pardon. And the warmth stroked Johannes's cheek with a caress.
Deep tenderness came over his soul, so great that he could walk no
farther, but lifted up his face to the wide heavens with a deep sigh.
The Spring was calling to him and he heard it. He longed to answer--to
go. His heart was full of repentance and love and forgiveness. He gazed
up with longing tears flowing from his sad eyes.
'Come, Johannes! do not behave so strangely; people are staring at you!'
cried Pluizer.
The long monotonous rows of houses stretched away on each side, gloomy
and repulsive--an offence in the soft atmosphere, a discord in the
voices of the Spring.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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