Little Masterpieces of American Wit and Humor, Volume II
General
Little Masterpieces of American Wit and Humor, Volume II
American wit and humor
an' untied the end of the rope, an' the rodder pulled the ladder out
while I held the door to keep the dog from follerin', which he came
pretty near doin', anyway. But I locked him in, and then the man began
stormin' again about his wagon; but when he looked out an' see the
boy comin' back with it--for somebody must 'a' stopped the horse--he
stopped stormin' and went to put up his ladder ag'in. 'No, you don't,'
says I; 'I'll let the big dog loose next time, and if I put him at the
foot of your ladder you'll never come down.' 'But I want to go and take
down what I put up,' he says; 'I ain't a-goin' on with this job.' 'No,'
says I, 'you ain't; and you can't go up there to wrench off them rods
and make rain-holes in the roof, neither.' He couldn't get no madder
than he was then, an' fur a minute or two he couldn't speak, an' then
he says, 'I'll have satisfaction for this.' An' says I, 'How?' An' says
he, 'You'll see what it is to interfere with a ordered job.' An' says
I, 'There wasn't no order about it;' an' says he, 'I'll show you better
than that;' an' he goes to his wagon an' gits a book, 'There,' says he,
'read that.' 'What of it?' says I; 'there's nobody of the name of Ball
lives here.' That took the man kinder back, and he said he was told it
was the only house on the lane, which I said was right, only it was the
next lane he oughter 'a' gone to. He said no more after that, but just
put his ladder in his wagon and went off. But I was not altogether rid
of him. He left a trail of his baleful presence behind him.
"That horrid bulldog wouldn't let me come into the house! No matter
what door I tried, there he was, just foamin' mad. I let him stay till
nearly night, and then went and spoke kind to him; but it was no good.
He'd got an awful spite ag'in me. I found something to eat down cellar,
and I made a fire outside an' roasted some corn and potatoes. That
night I slep' in the barn. I wasn't afraid to be away from the house
for I knew it was safe enough, with that dog in it, and Lord Edward
outside. For three days, Sunday an all, I was kep' out of this here
house. I got along pretty well with the sleepin' and the eatin', but
the drinkin' was the worst. I couldn' get no coffee or tea; but there
was plenty of milk."
"Why didn't you get some man to come and attend to the dog?" I asked.
"It was dreadful to live in that way."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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