Liza of LambethMaugham, W. Somerset (William Somerset)
General
Liza of Lambeth
Maugham, W. Somerset (William Somerset)
Working class -- England -- Fiction
'Well, if I don't know, I dunno 'oo does, for the trouble I've 'ad, it
'ud be enough to kill many women. Well, I've 'ad thirteen children,
an' you can think wot thet was; everyone I 'ad I used ter sy I
wouldn't 'ave no more--but one does, yer know. You'll 'ave a family
some day, Liza, an' I shouldn't wonder if you didn't 'ave as many as
me. We come from a very prodigal family, we do, we've all gone in ter
double figures, except your Aunt Mary, who only 'ad three--but then
she wasn't married, so it didn't count, like.'
They drank each other's health. Everything was getting blurred to
Liza, she was losing her head.
'Yus,' went on Mrs. Kemp, 'I've 'ad thirteen children an' I'm proud of
it. As your poor dear father used ter sy, it shows as 'ow one's got
the blood of a Briton in one. Your poor dear father, 'e was a great
'and at speakin' 'e was: 'e used ter speak at parliamentary
meetin's--I really believe 'e'd 'ave been a Member of Parliament if
'e'd been alive now. Well, as I was sayin', your father 'e used ter
sy, "None of your small families for me, I don't approve of them,"
says 'e. 'E was a man of very 'igh principles, an' by politics 'e was
a Radical. "No," says 'e, when 'e got talkin', "when a man can 'ave a
family risin' into double figures, it shows 'e's got the backbone of a
Briton in 'im. That's the stuff as 'as built up England's nime and
glory! When one thinks of the mighty British Hempire," says 'e, "on
which the sun never sets from mornin' till night, one 'as ter be proud
of 'isself, an' one 'as ter do one's duty in thet walk of life in
which it 'as pleased Providence ter set one--an' every man's fust duty
is ter get as many children as 'e bloomin' well can." Lord love
yer--'e could talk, I can tell yer.'
'Drink up, mother,' said Liza. 'You're not 'alf drinkin'.' She
flourished the bottle. 'I don't care a twopanny 'ang for all them
blokes; I'm quite 'appy, an' I don't want anythin' else.'
'I can see you're my daughter now,' said Mrs. Kemp. 'When yer used ter
round on me I used ter think as 'ow if I 'adn't carried yer for nine
months, it must 'ave been some mistike, an' yer wasn't my daughter at
all. When you come ter think of it, a man 'e don't know if it's 'is
child or somebody else's, but yer can't deceive a woman like thet. Yer
couldn't palm off somebody else's kid on 'er.'
'I am beginnin' ter feel quite lively,' said Liza. 'I dunno wot it is,
but I feel as if I wanted to laugh till I fairly split my sides.'
And she began to sing: 'For 'e's a jolly good feller--for 'e's a jolly
good feller!'
Her dress was all disarranged; her face covered with the scars of
scratches, and clots of blood had fixed under her nose; her eye had
swollen up so that it was nearly closed, and red; her hair was hanging
over her face and shoulders, and she laughed stupidly and leered with
heavy, sodden ugliness.
'Disy, Disy! I can't afford a kerridge.
But you'll look neat, on the seat
Of a bicycle mide for two.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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