Women -- Social conditions -- 19th century -- Fiction
"My honour is," he answered, with an effort, "and the rest is of little
worth."
He paused, and then continued in a low but distinct voice, as if every
word cost him a struggle, yet as if he wished each one to be fraught
with its entire meaning to his hearer; "I cannot well explain to you the
motives of my sudden determination, nor will I complain of the part you
have had in bringing on this catastrophe. It is over now. No power on
earth--no heavenly power can erase the past, nor change one iota of
what, but an hour ago, did not exist, but which now exists; altering all
things to both of us for ever; I am a dishonoured man."
"Speak without more comment," cried Lady Lodore; "for Heaven's sake
explain--I must know what you mean."
"I have insulted a gentleman," replied her husband, "and I will yield no
reparation. I have disgraced a nobleman by a blow, and I will offer no
apology, could one be accepted--and it could not; nor will I give
satisfaction."
Lady Lodore remained silent. Her thoughts speedily ran over the dire
objects which her husband's speech presented. A quarrel--she too readily
guessed with whom--a blow, a duel; her cheek blanched--yet not so; for
Lodore refused to fight. In spite of the terror with which an anticipated
rencontre had filled her, the idea of cowardice in her husband, or the
mere accusation of it, brought the colour back to her face. She felt
that her heedlessness had given rise to all this harm; but again she
felt insulted that doubts of her sentiments or conduct should be the
occasion of a scene of violence. Both remained silent. Lodore stood
leaning on the mantelpiece, his cheek flushed, agitation betraying
itself in each gesture, mixed with a resolve to command himself.
Cornelia had advanced from the door to the middle of the room; she stood
irresolute, too indignant and too fearful to ask further explanation,
yet anxious to receive it. Still he hesitated. He was desirous of
finding some form of words which might convey all the information that
it was necessary she should receive, and yet conceal all that he desired
should remain untold.
At last he spoke. "It is unnecessary to allude to the irretrievable
past. The future is not less unalterable for me. I will not fight with,
nor apologize to, the boy I have insulted I must therefore fly--fly my
country and the face of man; go where the name of Lodore will not be
synonymous with infamy--to an island in the east--to the desert wilds of
America--it matters not whither. The simple question is, whether you are
prepared on a sudden to accompany me? I would not ask this of your
generosity, but that, married as we are, our destinies are linked, far
beyond any power we possess to sunder them. Miserable as my future
fortunes will be, far other than those which I invited you but four
years ago to share, you are better off incurring the worst with me, than
you could be, struggling alone for a separate existence."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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