London's Heart: A NovelFarjeon, B. L. (Benjamin Leopold)
General
London's Heart: A Novel
Farjeon, B. L. (Benjamin Leopold)
London (England) -- Fiction
"We have spoken of that already," replies Felix, in a dry tone, "and
it will not profit us to pursue the subject. I know that many a bad
word was said about him, but after all perhaps he was not much worse
than many of his neighbours. I, at all events, have cause to be
grateful to him. I have no doubt that, had he lived, he would have
helped me to make a career for myself. But that is still before me; I
haven't the slightest fear. The circumstance of his leaving so small
an estate speaks for him. It proves that in the allowance he made me
he went to the full extent of his means, and that between us we
managed to swallow up his annuity pretty well to the last shilling."
In his anxiety to do justice to the memory of his uncle, his generous
mind seizes every point that reflects credit upon the dead man. "Be a
lawyer, he wrote to me over and over again, be an architect, be an
engineer, be something, whatever it is, and come home and let us set
about it. That showed he was in earnest, and meant to stand by me."
"We are not likely to agree upon this or any other subject. I have but
few words to say in conclusion, relating to your uncle's affairs. He
left a request behind him, in a document written some years ago, that
when he died all his papers and letters should be burnt. This was
done; they were all burnt with the exception of one, which contains
the recital of a singular story; I thought it desirable to keep it, as
it may be worth money, and as I think it concerns a man who once dwelt
in this locality. And that, I believe, is all I have to say respecting
your uncle."
A long and embarrassing silence follows, each knowing that the most
momentous part of the interview is to come. Felix is unusually grave,
for he cannot but feel that the relations existing between himself and
his father are to some extent unnatural. Anxious as he is to find the
road to his father's good wishes--affection seems to be out of the
question--the consciousness is forced upon him that the only road open
to him is one the treading of which will compel him to be false to
himself. And that he cannot be. Come what may, he is determined not to
play the hypocrite. He is the first to break the silence.
"You have something else to speak of, father."
The Reverend Emanuel Creamwell clears his throat, in precisely the
same way as he was in the habit of doing when he was about to deliver
a more than usually disagreeable discourse to his congregation. This
clearing of the throat did not have the effect usually produced; it
did not clear his voice. On the contrary, his tones on these occasions
invariably became more harsh and discordant--like rusty iron. It is in
these rusty-iron tones he speaks now, and every word he utters grates
upon Felix, and sets his soul on edge.
"I have something else to speak of, but the subject is the
same--yourself. I am disappointed in you."
"I am sorry for it, father."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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