The point which most thinkers reach at last was to him the
starting-point, whence his brain was to set out one day in search of
new worlds of knowledge. Though as yet he knew it not, he had made for
himself the most exacting life possible, and the most insatiably greedy.
Merely to live, was he not compelled to be perpetually casting nutriment
into the gulf he had opened in himself? Like some beings who dwell in
the grosser world, might not he die of inanition for want of feeding
abnormal and disappointed cravings? Was not this a sort of debauchery of
the intellect which might lead to spontaneous combustion, like that of
bodies saturated with alcohol?
I had seen nothing of this first phase of his brain-development; it
is only now, at a later day, that I can thus give an account of its
prodigious fruit and results. Lambert was now thirteen.
I was so fortunate as to witness the first stage of the second period.
Lambert was cast into all the miseries of school-life--and that,
perhaps, was his salvation--it absorbed the superabundance of his
thoughts. After passing from concrete ideas to their purest expression,
from words to their ideal import, and from that import to principles,
after reducing everything to the abstract, to enable him to live he
yearned for yet other intellectual creations. Quelled by the woes of
school and the critical development of his physical constitution, he
became thoughtful, dreamed of feeling, and caught a glimpse of new
sciences--positively masses of ideas. Checked in his career, and not
yet strong enough to contemplate the higher spheres, he contemplated his
inmost self. I then perceived in him the struggle of the Mind reacting
on itself, and trying to detect the secrets of its own nature, like a
physician who watches the course of his own disease.
At this stage of weakness and strength, of childish grace and superhuman
powers, Louis Lambert is the creature who, more than any other, gave
me a poetical and truthful image of the being we call an angel, always
excepting one woman whose name, whose features, whose identity, and
whose life I would fain hide from all the world, so as to be sole master
of the secret of her existence, and to bury it in the depths of my
heart.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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