Love, Life & Work: Being a Book of Opinions Reasonably Good-Natured Concerning How to Attain the Highest Happiness for One's Self with the Least Possible Harm to OthersHubbard, Elbert
Religion
Love, Life & Work: Being a Book of Opinions Reasonably Good-Natured Concerning How to Attain the Highest Happiness for One's Self with the Least Possible Harm to Others
Hubbard, Elbert
Conduct of life; Happiness
Women should not "obey" men anymore than men should obey women. There
are six requisites in every happy marriage; the first is Faith, and the
remaining five are Confidence. Nothing so compliments a man as for a
woman to believe in him--nothing so pleases a woman as for a man to
place confidence in her.
Obey? God help me! Yes, if I loved a woman, my whole heart's desire
would be to obey her slightest wish. And how could I love her unless I
had perfect confidence that she would only aspire to what was beautiful,
true and right? And to enable her to realize this ideal, her wish would
be to me a sacred command; and her attitude of mind toward me I know
would be the same. And the only rivalry between us would be as to who
could love the most; and the desire to obey would be the one controlling
impulse of our lives.
We gain freedom by giving it, and he who bestows faith gets it back with
interest. To bargain and stipulate in love is to lose.
The woman who stops the marriage ceremony and requests the minister to
omit the word "obey," is sowing the first seed of doubt and distrust
that later may come to fruition in the divorce court.
The haggling and bickerings of settlements and dowries that usually
precede the marriage of "blood" and "dollars" are the unheeded warnings
that misery, heartache, suffering, and disgrace await the principals.
Perfect faith implies perfect love; and perfect love casteth out fear.
It is always the fear of imposition, and a lurking intent to rule, that
causes the woman to haggle over a word--it is absence of love, a
limitation, an incapacity. The price of a perfect love is an absolute
and complete surrender.
Keep back part of the price and yours will be the fate of Ananias and
Sapphira. Your doom is swift and sure. To win all we must give all.
Giving Something for Nothing
To give a man something for nothing tends to make the individual
dissatisfied with himself.
Your enemies are the ones you have helped.
And when an individual is dissatisfied with himself he is dissatisfied
with the whole world--and with you.
A man's quarrel with the world is only a quarrel with himself. But so
strong is this inclination to lay blame elsewhere and take credit to
ourselves, that when we are unhappy we say it is the fault of this woman
or that man. Especially do women attribute their misery to That Man.
And often the trouble is he has given her too much for nothing.
This truth is a reversible, back-action one, well lubricated by use,
working both ways--as the case may be.
Nobody but a beggar has really definite ideas concerning his rights.
People who give much--who love much--do not haggle.
That form of affection which drives sharp bargains and makes demands,
gets a check on the bank in which there is no balance.
There is nothing so costly as something you get for nothing.
My friend Tom Lowry, Magnate in Ordinary, of Minneapolis and the east
side of Wall Street, has recently had a little experience that proves
my point.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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