Then she referred to the letter Doris had sent her, in which the former
stated that half the money earned would still be set aside for Alice.
"It is lovely of you to say that about the money, dear," wrote Alice;
"but Norman declares I am not to touch what he is pleased to call
ill-gotten gains. Lest I should do so, he declares he will not eat
anything I buy, and in consequence he is living upon oatmeal porridge
and lentil soup! Oh, and the oatmeal is nearly finished! I have been
thinking that if you would kindly send a five-pound-note now and then,
anonymously, to him--mind, to him, not to me--and just put inside the
envelope that it is ’Conscience Money’--that would be quite true, you
know; for if you had not a conscience you would keep what I have thrust
into your hands--he might use it, thinking it was the repayment of some
old debt. For he has lent lots of money, in the old days, to people who
have never let him have it back again. I hope you can see your way, as
the dealers say, to do this. We must live, you know. It is so
miserable to starve, and it’s worse for the housekeeper, as the fault
seems to be hers."
"I don’t like complying with her request," thought Doris. "Her brother
is an honest man, a most awkwardly honest man, and it is a shame to
deceive him. Yet the money is Alice’s. It is a point of conscience
with me, as she says, to give it her. But I wish it could be done in
some other way. It seems such a shame to make him eat food which his
very soul would revolt from, if he knew everything."
She thought over the matter as she was working, and the more she thought
about it the less she liked it. But when a dealer came in that
afternoon, and paid her ten pounds that was owing to the firm, in two
five-pound notes, she immediately posted one of them to Norman Sinclair,
Esq., at his address in Hampstead, writing inside the envelope the words
"Conscience Money."
That done, she felt more comfortable about Alice, for at least she would
not starve when that money arrived. Doris still missed Alice, however,
exceedingly; and though turning to her painting with fresh energy, alas!
she felt for it more distaste than ever. For Doris could not forget--it
was impossible for her to forget--that an honest man had called her work
wicked, and declared that it was a crime in the sight of God and man.
If that were true, and it was a crime, then she was a criminal just as
her father was! Hereditary? Yes, the criminality must be hereditary.
In her thoughts she had been hard upon her father. Was she any better
herself?
*CHAPTER XIV.*
*BERNARD CAMERON VISITS DORIS.*
Patience and abnegation of self and devotion to others,
This was the lesson a life of trial and sorrow had taught her.
LONGFELLOW.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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