Lucy Maud Montgomery Short Stories, 1905 to 1906Montgomery, L. M. (Lucy Maud)
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Lucy Maud Montgomery Short Stories, 1905 to 1906
Montgomery, L. M. (Lucy Maud)
Short stories, Canadian
"I know it. I know I'm stiff and hateful, and that nobody likes me,
and that it is all my own fault. No, never mind trying to smooth it
over, Miss Channing. It's the truth, and it hurts me, but I can't help
it. I'm getting more bitter and pessimistic and unwholesome every day
of my life. Sometimes it seems as if I hated all the world because I'm
so lonely in it. I'm nobody. My mother died when I was born--and
Father--oh, I don't know. One can't say anything against one's father,
Miss Channing. But I had a hard childhood--or rather, I didn't have
any childhood at all. We were always moving about. We didn't seem to
have any friends at all. My mother might have had relatives
somewhere, but I never heard of any. I don't even know where her home
was. Father never would talk of her. He died two years ago, and since
then I've been absolutely alone."
"Oh, you poor girl," said Miss Channing softly.
"I want friends," went on Constance, seeming to take a pleasure in
open confession now that her tongue was loosed. "I've always just
longed for somebody belonging to me to love. I don't love anybody,
Miss Channing, and when a girl is in that state, she is all wrong. She
gets hard and bitter and resentful--I have, anyway. I struggled
against it at first, but it has been too much for me. It poisons
everything. There is nobody to care anything about me, whether I live
or die."
"Oh, yes, there is One," said Miss Channing gently. "God cares,
Constance."
Constance gave a disagreeable little laugh.
"That sounds like Miss Williams--she is so religious. God doesn't mean
anything to me, Miss Channing. I've just the same resentful feeling
toward him that I have for all the world, if he exists at all. There,
I've shocked you in good earnest now. You should have left me alone,
Miss Channing."
"God means nothing to you because you've never had him translated to
you through human love, Constance," said Miss Channing seriously. "No,
you haven't shocked me--at least, not in the way you mean. I'm only
terribly sorry."
"Oh, never mind me," said Constance, freezing up into her reserve
again as if she regretted her confidences. "I'll get along all right.
This is one of my off days, when everything looks black."
Miss Channing walked on in silence. She must help Constance, but
Constance was not easily helped. When school reopened, she might be
able to do something worthwhile for the girl, but just now the only
thing to do was to put her in the way of a pleasant vacation.
"You spoke of boarding," she said, when Constance paused at the door
of her boarding-house. "Have you any particular place in view? No?
Well, I know a place which I am sure you would like. I was there two
summers ago. It is a country place about a hundred miles from here.
Pine Valley is its name. It's restful and homey, and the people are so
nice. If you like, I'll give you the address of the family I boarded
with."
"Thank you," said Constance indifferently. "I might as well go there
as anywhere else."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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