Malvina of BrittanyJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
Science
Malvina of Brittany
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
Brittany (France) -- Fiction; Short stories, English
On the evening of Thursday, the twenty-seventh, it was fairly well
occupied, but not to any great extent. One couple attracted my
attention by reason of the gentleman's erratic steering. Had he been
my partner I should have suggested a polka, the tango not being the
sort of dance that can be picked up in an evening. What I mean to say
is, that he struck me as being more willing than experienced. Some of
the bumps she got would have made me cross; but we all have our
fancies, and, so far as I could judge, they both appeared to be
enjoying themselves. It was after the "Hitchy Koo" that they came
outside.
The seat to the left of the door is popular by reason of its being
partly screened by bushes, but by leaning forward a little it is quite
possible for me to see what goes on there. They were the first couple
out, having had a bad collision near the bandstand, so easily secured
it. The gentleman was laughing.
There was something about him from the first that made me think I knew
him, and when he took off his hat to wipe his head it came to me all of
a sudden, he being the exact image of his effigy at Madame Tussaud's,
which, by a curious coincidence, I happened to have visited with a
friend that very afternoon. The lady was what some people would call
good-looking, and others mightn't.
I was watching them, naturally a little interested. Mr. Parable, in
helping the lady to adjust her cloak, drew her--it may have been by
accident--towards him; and then it was that a florid gentleman with a
short pipe in his mouth stepped forward and addressed the lady. He
raised his hat and, remarking "Good evening," added that he hoped she
was "having a pleasant time." His tone, I should explain, was
sarcastic.
The young woman, whatever else may be said of her, struck me as
behaving quite correctly. Replying to his salutation with a cold and
distant bow, she rose, and, turning to Mr. Parable, observed that she
thought it was perhaps time for them to be going.
The gentleman, who had taken his pipe from his mouth, said--again in a
sarcastic tone--that he thought so too, and offered the lady his arm.
"I don't think we need trouble you," said Mr. Parable, and stepped
between them.
To describe what followed I, being a lady, am hampered for words. I
remember seeing Mr. Parable's hat go up into the air, and then the next
moment the florid gentleman's head was lying on my counter smothered in
cigarettes. I naturally screamed for the police, but the crowd was
dead against me; and it was only after what I believe in technical
language would be termed "the fourth round" that they appeared upon the
scene.
The last I saw of Mr. Parable he was shaking a young constable who had
lost his helmet, while three other policemen had hold of him from
behind. The florid gentleman's hat I found on the floor of my kiosk
and returned to him; but after a useless attempt to get it on his head,
he disappeared with it in his hand. The lady was nowhere to be seen.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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