"Is there some place where I could be certain of a message reaching you
then? because I would have asked you to come to the flat to-day and not
out here if I could have found you."
She was silent for a moment. I could see she was in a corner--I felt an
awful brute but I had said it all quite naturally as any employer would
who was quite unaware that there could be any reluctance to give the
information, and I felt it was better to continue in this strain not to
render her suspicious.
After a second or two she gave the number of a stationer's shop in the
Avenue Mosart--.
"I pass there every day," she said.
I thanked her--.
"I hope you did not hurry back to your work--I can't bear to think that
perhaps you would have wished to remain at home now."
"No, it does not matter"--There was an infinite weariness in her
tone--A hopeless flatness I had never heard before, it moved me so that
I blurted out--.
"Oh! I have felt so anxious, and so sorry--I saw you in the _Bois_ two
Sundays ago in the thunder storm, and I tried to get near the path I
thought you would cross to offer you the carriage to return in, but I
missed you--Perhaps your little brother caught cold then?"
There was a sob in her voice--.
"Yes--will you--would you mind if we just did not speak of anything but
began work."
"Forgive me--I only want you to know that I'm so awfully sorry--and Oh,
if there was anything in the world I could do for you--would you not let
me?"
"I appreciate your wish--it is kind of you--but there is nothing--You
were going to begin the last chapter over again--Here is the old one--I
will take off my hat while you look at it," and she handed it to me.
Of course I could not say anything more--I had had a big bunch of
violets put on the table where she types, in Burton's room
adjoining--they were the first forced ones which could be got in
Paris--and I had slipped a card by them with just "my sympathy" on it.
When she came back into the room hatless, her cheeks were bright pink
below the glasses--and all she said was "Thank you" and then I saw a
little streak of wet trickle from under the horn rims. I have never had
such a temptation in my life--to stretch out my arms and cry "Darling
one, let me comfort you, here clasped close to me!"--I longed to touch
her--to express somehow that I felt profoundly for her grief.--
"Miss Sharp--" I did burst out--"I am not saying anything because I know
you don't want me to--but it is not because I do not
feel--I'm--I'm--awfully sorry--May not I perhaps send some roses
to--your home--or, perhaps there is someone there who would like
them--flowers are such jolly things!"--Then I felt the awfully ill
chosen word "jolly" was--but I could not alter it.
I believe that _gaucherie_ on my part helped though a little, her fine
senses understood it was because I was so nervously anxious to offer
comfort--a much kinder note came into her voice--.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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