“As it turned out she was also tall, like your mother, but I could not
see what kind or color of clothes she wore. There was some peculiarity
of the light; an illusion was created. The devil! I wish I could tell
of things that have happened to me without this eternal business of
having everything I say seem a little strange and uncanny. One walks
in a wood at evening, let us say, Jane, and one has queer fascinating
illusions. The light, the shadows cast by trees, the open spaces
between trees--these things create the illusions. Often the trees
seem to beckon to one. Old sturdy trees look wise and you think they
are going to tell you some great secret, but they don’t. One gets
into a forest of young birches. What naked girlish things, running
and running, free, free. Once I was in such a wood with a girl. We
were up to something. Well, it had gone no further than that we had a
tremendous feeling for each other at the moment. We had kissed and I
remember that twice I had stopped in the half-darkness and had touched
her face with my fingers--tenderly and softly, you know. She was a
little dumb shy girl I had picked up on the streets of an Indiana town,
a kind of free immoral little thing, such as sometimes pop up in such
towns. I mean she was free with men in a kind of queer shy way. I had
picked her up on the street and then, when we got out there in the
wood, we both felt the strangeness of things and the strangeness of
being with each other too.
“There we were, you see. We were about to--I don’t exactly know what we
were up to. We were standing and looking at each other.
“And then we both looked suddenly up and there, in the path before us,
was a very dignified and beautiful old man. He was wearing a robe that
was caught over his shoulders, in a swaggering kind of a way, and it
was spread out behind him over the floor of the forest, between the
trees.
“What a princely old man! What a kingly fellow, in fact! We both saw
him, both stood looking at him with eyes filled with wonder, and he
stood looking at us.
“I had to go forward and touch the thing with my hands before the
illusion our minds had created could be dispelled. The kingly old man
was just a half-decayed old stump and the robe he wore was just the
purple night shadows falling down on the floor of the forest, but our
having seen the thing together made everything different between the
shy little town girl and myself. What we had perhaps both intended
doing couldn’t be done in the spirit in which we had approached it. I
mustn’t try to tell you of that now. I mustn’t get too much off the
track.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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