What a betrayal! It was John Webster himself who had, in the end,
poisoned the wells of truth at which he and the woman would have to
drink as they went along the road toward happiness.
He hadn’t been thinking of her at all. He had been thinking of the
strange mysterious woman lying in the upper bed-chamber in the city of
the land of his fancy.
Everything got started wrong and then nothing could be set straight
again. One day a letter came from her and then, after writing a great
many other letters, he went to her town to see her.
There was a time of embarrassment and then the past was apparently
forgotten. They went to walk together under the trees in a strange
town. Later he wrote more letters and came to see her again. One night
he asked her to marry him.
The very devil! He didn’t even take her into his arms when he asked
her. There was a kind of fear involved in the whole matter. “I’d better
not after what happened before. I’ll wait until we’re married. Things
will be different then.” One had a notion. It was that after marriage
one became something quite different from what one had been before and
that the beloved one also became something quite different.
And so he had managed to get married, having that notion, and he and
the woman had set out together upon a wedding trip.
John Webster held his daughter’s body closely against his own and
trembled a little. “I had some notion in my head that I had better go
slow,” he said. “You see, I had already frightened her once. ‘We’ll go
slow here,’ I kept saying to myself; ‘well, she doesn’t know much about
life, I’d better go pretty slow.’”
The memory of the moment of his marriage stirred John Webster
profoundly.
The bride was coming down a stairway. Strange people stood about.
All the time, down inside the strange people, down inside all people
everywhere, there was thinking going on of which no one seemed aware.
“Now you look at me, Jane. I’m your father. I was that way. All these
years, while I’ve been your father, I’ve been just like that.
“Something happened to me. A lid was jerked off something somewhere in
me. Now, you see, I stand, as though on a high hill and look down into
a valley where all my former life has been lived. Quite suddenly, you
understand, I know all the thoughts I’ve been having all of my life.
“You’ll hear it said. Well, you’ll read it in books and stories people
write about death. ‘At the moment of death he looked back and saw all
his life spread out before him.’ That’s what you’ll read.
“Ha! That’s all right, but what about life? What about the moment,
when, having been dead, one comes back into life?”
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account