Married Love: A New Contribution to the Solution of Sex DifficultiesStopes, Marie Carmichael
Science
Married Love: A New Contribution to the Solution of Sex Difficulties
Stopes, Marie Carmichael
Man-woman relationships; Marriage; Sex (Psychology); Sex differences; Sex in marriage
A young man or woman perfectly naked _cannot_ be tawdry. The
fripperies, the jagged curves and inharmonious lines and colours
of the so-called "adornments" are surmounted, and the naked figure
stepping from their scattered pile is seen in its utter simplicity.
How charming even the raggedest little street urchins become when
they leave their rags on the bank and plunge into the water!
It is therefore not surprising that one of the innumerable sweet
impulses of love should be to reveal, each to each, this treasure of
living beauty. To give each other the right to enter and enjoy the
sight which most of all sights in the world draws and satisfies the
artist's eyes.
This impulse, however, is, on the part of the woman, swayed by two
at least of the natural results of her rhythmic tides. For some time
during each month, age-long tradition that she is "unclean," coupled
with her obvious requirements, have made her withdraw herself from
even her husband's gaze. But, on the other hand, there regularly
come times when her body is raised to a higher point of loveliness
than usual by the rounding and extra fullness of the breasts.
(This is one of the regular physiological results of the rhythmic
processes going on within her.) Partly or wholly unconscious of the
brilliance and full perfection of her beauty, she yet delights in
its gentle promptings to reveal itself to her lover's eyes when he
adores. This innocent, this goddess-like self-confidence retreats
when the natural ebb of her vitality returns.
How fortunate for man when these sweet changes in his lover are not
coerced into uniformity! For man has still so much of the ancient
hunter in his blood that beauty which is always at hand and ever
upon its pedestal must inevitably attract him far less than the
elusive and changing charms of rhythmic life. In the highly-evolved
and cultivated woman, who has wisdom enough not to restrict, but to
give full play to the great rhythms of her being, man's polygamous
instinct can be satisfied and charmed by the ever-changing aspects
of herself which naturally come uppermost. And one of her natural
phases is at times to retreat, to experience a profound sex
indifference, and passionately to resent any encroachment on her
solitude.
This is something woman too often forgets. She has been so
thoroughly "domesticated" by man that she feels too readily that
after marriage she is all his. And by her very docility to his
perpetual demands she destroys for him the elation, the palpitating
thrills and surprises, of the chase.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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