Bildungsromans; Domestic fiction; Mothers and daughters -- Fiction
Confirmation. She had seen a Confirmation once, years ago. Girls in white
dresses and long white veils, like brides, shining behind the square
black windows of the broughams. Dora and Effie Draper. Effie leaned
forward. Her pretty, piercing face looked out through the black pane, not
seeing anything, trying greedily to be seen. Big boys and girls knelt
down in rows before the Bishop, and his sleeves went flapping up and down
over them like bolsters in the wind.
Mr. Farmer was looking at her again, as if he had an idea in his head.
IX.
The Church Service was open at the Thirty-Nine Articles. Mamma had pushed
Dr. Smith's "History of England" away.
"Do you think," she said, "you could say the Catechism and the Athanasian
Creed straight through without stopping?"
"I daresay I could if I tried. Why?"
"Because Mr. Farmer will want to examine you."
"Whatever for?"
"Because," her mother said, "there's going to be a Confirmation. It's
time you were thinking about being confirmed."
"Confirmed? _Me_?"
"And why not you?"
"Well--I haven't got to be, have I?"
"You will have, sooner or later. So you may as well begin to think about
it now."
Confirmation. She had never thought about it as a real thing that might
happen to her, that would happen, sooner or later, if she didn't do
something to stop Mr. Farmer and Mamma.
"I _am_ thinking. I'm thinking tight."
Tight. Tight. Her mind, in agony, pinned itself to one point: how she
could stop her mother without telling her.
Beyond that point she couldn't see clearly.
"You see--you see--I don't _want_ to be confirmed."
"You don't want? You might as well say you didn't want to be a
Christian."
"Don't worry, Mamma darling. I only want to stay as I am."
"I must worry. I'm responsible for you as long as you're not confirmed.
You forget that I'm your godmother as well as your mother."
She had forgotten it. And Papa and Uncle Victor were her godfathers.
"What did your godfathers and godmothers then for you?--They did promise
and vow three things in my name--" they had actually done it. "First:
that I should renounce"--renounce--renounce--"Secondly: that I should
believe all the Articles of the Christian Faith--"
The Christian Faith--the Catholic Faith. "Which Faith except everyone do
keep whole and undefiled, without doubt he shall perish everlastingly"--
--"And the Catholic Faith is this: That we worship one God in Trinity and
Trinity in Unity."
They had promised and vowed all that. In her name. What right had they?
What right had they?
"You're not a baby any more," her mother said.
"That's what I mean. I was a baby when you went and did it. I knew
nothing about it. You _can't_ make me responsible."
"It's we who are responsible," her mother said.
"I mean for your vows and promises, Mamma darling. If you'll let me off
my responsibility I'll let you off yours."
"Now," her mother said, "you're prevaricating."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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