"On the contrary, it keeps me cheerful," he said, with the old
whimsical smile. "Habit, I suppose. And besides, I have certain
things to say to Arthur."
Elizabeth took the hint and left the room. Arthur sat beside the bed
in awkward silence.
Presently Vickars said abruptly, "You love her?"
"Yes, with all my heart."
"I thought so."
He was silent for some moments. Then he said, "A month ago I suppose I
should almost have hated you for that confession. She is all I have; I
have always wanted to keep her wholly to myself.... I have dreaded
this hour.... But I see now it is the course of nature. I may have to
leave her soon--I don't know. But I'm glad now you love her. Yes, I
think I'm glad, and I wished to tell you so."
"I hope you'll soon be better."
"Ah! do you? But then, you see, I might not feel the same toward you.
But there--that's irony. You know that. Honestly, I'm glad you love
her."
His eyes closed, and Arthur, sitting silently beside the bed, could not
but mark the change in Vickars since last he saw him. The bones of the
face showed white through the stretched, transparent skin, the eyes
were sunken, and new lines had been etched upon the forehead. It came
to him, in a rush of pity and of admiration, that he loved this man.
And there came to him also some dim perception of the depth of that
sacrifice which Vickars endured in resigning his sole jealous claim
upon Elizabeth. It is seldom that young love attains to this vision.
It is all hot eagerness, imperious and intense with the overmastering
impulse of sex, and blind to the tendrils of old affection which it
tears apart to reach its goal. But to Arthur there was granted a truer
vision, a nobler temper, because love in him had always had a sacred
meaning, and had never been the more clamorous cry of sex.
It was as though Vickars divined his thoughts. He opened his eyes, and
said, "Bring me my notebook. It is lying on the table."
Arthur brought the book.
"I want to read you something. It was written by a wayward man of
genius, who made many blunders both in thought and morals, but he
understood love, and the one best thing in all his life was that he did
know how to love. Listen. 'To love we must render up body and soul,
heart and mind, all interests and all desires, all prudences and all
ambitions, and identify our being with that of another.... To love is
for the soul to choose a companion, and travel with it along the
perilous defiles and winding ways of life; mutually sustaining when the
path is terrible with dangers, mutually exhorting when it is rugged
with obstructions, and mutually rejoicing when rich broad plains and
sunny slopes make the journey a delight, showing in the quiet distance
the resting-place we all seek in this world.'"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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