But am I too late in bringing forward my last and happiest idea?--though
for that matter, when the tale of Mazeppa was concluded, "the King had
been an hour asleep," and yet Mazeppa's story was told out ne'ertheless.
For your immediate purpose therefore, or for use on your next sleepless
night, I entrust you with the crowning opiate. Recollect that you are
dreaming; and dream that all your intimates and relatives, all of whom
you have ever heard or read with interest, men and women and children,
people of every age and clime--imagine them, I say, all seated before
you at a round table. How any table is to accommodate so vast a
multitude, is their affair, and yours; the dreamer is never baulked by
technical impediments. Have your eye upon them all at once--another
little difficulty, to be overcome only by mortals in the incipient stage
of somnolency. Or, if your mind's eye obstinately refuses to enlarge its
orbit in this direction, so as to embrace such a vast and heterogeneous
assemblage, gather, I beseech you, into one focus any such crowd as you
habitually see. The Sunday audience of the Reverend Henry Ward Beecher
will answer the purpose; or you may fancy yourself at one of the old
Tammany Hall Meetings; or at the Opera, on a fashionable night; or in
the Senate at Washington during the impeachment of Mr. Johnson. It
matters not when and where; but the proceedings strike you as
insufferably dull, and you give vent to your feelings in a yawn that may
neither be suppressed nor concealed. Suddenly, moved by the same impulse
and unable also to control or hide its effect, the jaw of every soul
present is dropped to the lowermost, and all mouths are open in a
universal yawn. It is not catching; it is caught. Beecher gapes, and the
elect are gaping round him. Isaiah Rynders the same, and the same with
his "unterrified" hearers. Parepa-Rosa stands open-mouthed in dumb show
of singing, while humming-birds perched on chignons vibrate, as they
vainly try to resist the irresistible. Gape the Republicans, and gape
the Democrats, in response to the gaping Butler on his legs. There is,
in Shakespeare's words--though his ignorant editors have transformed it
into a "gap"--there is, I say, "a gape in Nature." Will you alone hold
out: I can't believe it. You have yawned in concert, I am morally
certain. Indeed, if, as these long-drawn prescriptions come to an end,
you be not far on the road to forgetfulness, I can give you but one
parting counsel. Nothing else can serve and save you--you must
incontinently take morphine.
DOCTOR PABLO'S PREDICTION.
Doctor Pablo went back a lonely man, to his old mother, in France,
after having passed twenty years in the Philippines.--
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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