"Late in the spring I left my retirement, with a countenance wan and fallen, and a heart filled with 'wo is me if I preach not the Gospel.' I was silent, no company seemed agreeable, and to no one did I confide my feelings. In the summer of 1812, I searched the Scriptures, and often did my mind so extensively open to an understanding of what I read, that I was impressed to communicate what I felt and what I saw. On some particular passage my mind would rest for several days at a time, and ideas of which I had never before thought, would present themselves. Well do I remember the great power in which the words of the apostolical commission came to my mind: 'Go ye into all the world and preach the Gospel to every creature;' words that seemed night and day to sound as a voice of thunder through my spirit. I regarded this as the divine voice; as Job says, 'God thundereth marvellously with his voice.' From all the scripture I read I gathered something that taught me the moral situation of mankind, God's willingness and ways for saving them, also my own duty to my race. Remarkable dreams at this time united with other evidences to confirm me in my duty, as often in the midnight slumber I dreamed of speaking to large assemblies in the name and spirit of the Lord. Frequently, under these exercises, I spoke so loud as to awaken the people in the house, and sometimes awoke in tears calling on sinners to repent and embrace the Saviour. When sleep departed from my eyes, as it frequently did, I would spend most of the night in prayer to God. Often could I say, with the weeping Hebrew prophet, 'Oh, that mine head were waters, and mine eyes a fountain of tears, that I might weep day and night.' But none, except those who have passed through similar trials, can understand the peculiar experience touched upon in these last paragraphs."