Autobiographical fiction; Bildungsromans; England -- Fiction; Feminist fiction; Love stories; Sex role -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
He reddened, and turned pale, alternately; bit his lips, and muttered to
himself.--'Damned romantic affectation!'
I assumed a firmer tone--methought he insulted me.--'I beg you will
leave me, Sir--I chuse to be alone--By what right do you intrude upon my
retirements?'
My determined accent abashed him:--he tried, but with an ill grace, to
be humble; and entreated me to take time for consideration.
'There is no need of it. It is a principle with me, not to inflict a
moment's suspence on any human being, when my own mind is decided.'
'Then you absolutely refuse me, and prefer the being exposed to the mean
and envious insults of the vulgar mistress of this mansion!'
'Of the two evils, I consider it as the least, because it involves no
permanent obligation.'
His countenance was convulsed with passion. His love, he told me, was
converted into vengeance by my scorn: he was not to be contemned with
impunity; and he warned me to beware.
I smiled, I believe, a little too contemptuously. 'You love me not, Sir;
I am glad, for your own sake, that you never loved me.'
'My hatred may be more terrible!'
'You cannot intimidate me--I am little accustomed to fear.'
I turned from him somewhat disdainfully: but, instantly recollecting
myself, I stepped back, and apologized for the harsh manner into which I
had been betrayed by his abrupt address, vehement expostulation, and the
previous irritated state of my mind.
'I acknowledge,' said I, 'the disinterestedness of your proposal, and
the _distinction_ which it implies. Will you allow my own wounded
feelings to be an excuse for the too little consideration with which I
have treated _your's_? Can you forgive me?' added I, in a conciliating
tone, holding out my hand.
The strong emotions, which rapidly succeeded each other in his mind,
were painted in his countenance. After a moment's hesitation, he
snatched the hand I offered him, pressed it to his lips, and, murmuring
a few incoherent words, burst into tears. My spirits were already
depressed--affected by these marks of his sensibility, and still more
distressed by the recollection of the pain I had occasioned him by my
inconsiderate behaviour, I wept with him for some minutes in silence.
'Let us no more,' resumed I, making an effort to recover myself, 'renew
these impressions. I thank you sincerely for the sympathy you have
manifested for my situation. I am sensible that I have yielded to weak
and wayward feelings.--I have youth, health, and activity--I ought
not--neither do I despair.--The mortifications I have experienced, since
my residence here, will afford me a useful lesson for the future--they
have already taught me, what I before merely conjectured, _the value of
independence_!'
'Why, then,' interrupted he with quickness, 'do you reject an opportunity
of placing yourself out of the reach of insult?'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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