In the courtyard were covered carts and trucks, while groups of
Provençales stood there laughing and gossiping. I stepped into the
dining-room and sat down at the table. The room was crowded and nearly
all the seats occupied by market-gardeners. They had come in from
Saint-Rémy, Château-Renard, Barbentane, for the weekly market, and were
all well acquainted. Their conversation related entirely to their
business:
“Well, Benezet,” said one, “how much did your mad-apples fetch to-day?”
“Bad luck; the market was glutted--I had to give them away.”
“And the leek-seed?” asked another.
“There is a fair prospect of a sale--if the rumour of war turns out true
they will use it for making powder, so they say.”
“And the onions?”
“They went off at once.”
“And the pumpkins?”
“Had to give them to the pigs.”
For an hour I listened to this on all sides, eating steadily without
saying a word. Then my opposite neighbour addressed me:
“And you, young man? If it is not indiscreet, may I ask if you are in
the gardening line?”
“I replied modestly that I had come to Nîmes for another purpose,
namely, to pass as bachelor.”
The company turned round and gazed at me with interest.
“What did he say,” they asked each other; “Bachelor? He must have said
‘battery’ hazarded one--it is a conscript, any one can see, and he
wishes to get into the battery.”
I laughed and tried to explain my position and the ordeal before me when
the learned professors would put me through my paces in Latin, Greek,
mathematics, chemistry, astronomy, philosophy, and every imaginable
branch of knowledge besides. “If we do well they allow us to become
lawyers, doctors, judges, even sub-prefects,” I concluded.
“And if you do badly?” inquired my audience eagerly.
“We are sent back to the asses’ bench,” I replied; “to-morrow I shall
know my fate.”
“Eh, but this is one of the right sort,” they cried in chorus. “Suppose
we all remain on another day to see whether he comes through all right
or whether he is left in the hole. Now, what are they going to ask you
to-morrow, for example?”
I told them it would be concerning all the battles that had ever been
fought since the world began, Jews, Romans, Saracens; and not only the
battles but the names of the generals who took part in them, the kings
and queens reigning at the time, together with their children and even
their bastards.
“But how then can the learned men occupy themselves with such trifles!”
cried my new friends. “It is very evident they have nothing better to
do. If they had to get up and hoe potatoes every morning they would not
waste time over the battles of the Saracens, who are dead and gone, or
the bastards of Herod. Well, what else do they ask you?”
I replied that I should be required also to know the names of all the
mountains and all the rivers in the world.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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